I started out my day yesterday in tears, but as the day wore on, I was feeling so blessed. I had no idea my Instagram post would get so much love – as of this morning I had over 1300 likes, 210+ comments AND over 300 direct messages. It will take me days to get through them all, but I will reply to each one. Some people had stories of their own spouses passing away – one woman as recent as 2 1/2 weeks ago when her husband died after a battle with cancer.
She’s been following me for a while, but didn’t realize I was a widow and she said that it gave her hope that she can laugh again. The hardest part is finding your new normal. Much like her, I spent the last several years of my marriage being the caretaker, that I forgot to take care of myself. Well, it’s been four years and I need to get my shit together. I literally have zero excuses.
My goal for yesterday? Not eat like an asshole. I had a couple hundred people reach out to me telling me that they weren’t going to eat like an asshole to support my sad day. #love
So I didn’t eat like an asshole! And our office had donuts the size of my head – my favorite too – DoRite Donuts. But that wasn’t on my plan. A picky plate for breakfast (without pickles!) š
Peanut butter and granola apple (4), hardboiled egg, cheese stick (2) and the most flavorful cutie.
Jenn and I walked Block 37 for a change of pace – its an indoor mall with restaurants (where Latinicity is) and there were a bunch of pop up stores for the holidays. This one was called “you are beautiful” and they had this 365 sticky note calendar ($36!) but I loved that each day it gave you a positive message. Yesterday’s was: do it really well. So I didn’t eat like an asshole really well. š
Lunch was my dump enchilada soup – with 2 points of cheese and an ounce of chips for dipping – 6 points for lunch. Note my snowman socks š
I continued not eating like an asshole and ate an apple on my train ride home. The honeycrisp apples are still 99 cents a pound at the train station.
I came home and saw that my town’s downtown has their holiday lights up. So pretty!
I had every intention of making Tony’s famous fried rice for dinner, but when I got home, Hannah was thick in the middle of making dinner for her and Jacob – I love that she decided to make something instead of ordering out. š So by the time I got in the kitchen, and smelled their Mexican food, I decided to make taquitos myself. My filling is zero points – just chicken, black beans and corn – then I added 1/4 cup of cheddar cheese between the three taquitos (2) the tortillas were (3) and then I counted a point for the trace of oil left in the pan when Hannah made her taquitos. My dip was Fage yogurt mixed with salsa. Yum!
And I declared the kitchen closed, and it stayed closed. I now need to repeat that for the next 365 days and then I’ll be golden!
I put a link to Tony’s fried rice video on my Instagram story – it nearly doubled the views from the previous 5 years – it had 655 views and now it has nearly 1100! Makes me happy. He did make the best fucking fried rice though! You can check out the video here if you missed it.
I feel better today. I’ve felt the virtual hugs and I am so blessed.
Happy Thursday friends – make it a great day!
Me too, I haven’t gotten any email notifications this week!
It’s something I need to fix – my brother and I were doing some stuff – I need to figure out how to get that back – sorry for the hassle š
Such a beautiful post and I love getting to see little snippets of yours and Tony’s life together.
Hospice is such a hard and beautiful thing, I remember when we brought my mother in law home, to our house. Rainbow Hospice set it all up and they made such an awful time so much better. It was also during the holidays (came home before Thanksgiving and passed away 1/02/13) but although those were some of the toughest longest days of our lives, they were also so amazing and filled with family, and food and laughs. It made us slow down and really truly appreciate what mattered and spend the holidays together. Anyway I am rambling, but seeing this post just reminded me of that and really touched me.
Much much love to you. You’re really thriving and I dont k ow him, but I can bet he would be so incredibly proud and excited for all you have done, and will do!
Thanks Carolyn! I used Rainbow Hospice too! Such a wonderful organization and wonderful people – it’s truly a gift to be in that profession. I’d be bawling my eyes out with the families if I did that work!
Hugs!
Hey Biz – glad you got to feel the love yesterday! You deserve it with all the good vibes you send out every day š I think you have your shit together – don’t beat yourself up about that. You have family, food, friends, you’re holding a good job, maintaining a house for yourself and your daughter/SIL…that’s all good stuff and sure seems together! I think you’ve found a new normal and now maybe you just want to kick it up a bit….try something new, etc. Dig deep and figure out what that is….take a class?, try a new hobby, go on a date, – whatever!! 2019 will be the year of the awakening for you š Can’t wait!! (PS, why don’t I get notification e-mails when you post to your blog anymore. They went away when your brother tuned everything up. Can I get them back? I can’t find anything to click on your blog and make that happen – HELP!)
Thanks Lynne – so happy that this little blog brought us together – why do we have to live so far apart from each other?!
Yep, I know about the subscription box – need to figure that out with my brother – I’ll keep you posted!
Hugs š
Thinking of you. Just one comment about your second paragraph. You DO have your shit together. You are living a good life (at least, as far as I can tell from the internet LOL) with normal ups and downs and feelings and failure and success. I appreciate you very much.
Aw, thanks Steph – I appreciate it! š
We are blessed to have you a part of our lives. Your wit, humor, inspiration, positive outlook and amazing recipes are all such wonderful gifts that you give unconditionally to your readers. I’m happy you were able to receive some of it back in return. This next month will be a struggle but you will do well. Just don’t beat yourself up. I had to do a double take on your food photo. I was a afraid you went off the deep in because I thought the radishes were onions. ((Hugs))
Thank you Kym – you were not alone – everyone thought “did Biz have a stroke?”
I had a good weekend, and I’ve decided to let the guilt jacket go, and put on my living life jacket – it’s hard to live if you always keep one foot in the past – I have to remember I don’t live there anymore.
Hugs!
Best advice ever. Thank goodness I found your blog. I need to get my shit together & your posts are showing me the way. You really seem to have your act together!
You are so sweet – I think I am just faking it til I make it. But I do have to be proud of myself for handling everything since my husband died – everything falls on me, so I guess I should be proud of that! Hugs!