Hello! I’ve missed you. I can’t believe it’s been well over two weeks since I’ve done a proper post.
Well, one reason was that my old laptop wasn’t working right. I couldn’t log onto the internet, pictures wouldn’t post, etc. I got a new laptop when I was with my brother and I am not sure why I was dragging my feet for so long – it’s so fast! My old laptop was actually Jacob’s laptop and he got it in 2010.
Only one tiny problem, I can’t seem to find the lightening cord that connects my phone to the laptop to download my pictures. Huh.
I had a great week though at my brother’s house with his family. Got to hang out with my sister-in-law, and my niece Rachel. My other niece Sarah came with her husband the day after Thanksgiving – so good to see them!
And I got to spend the night at my stepson and his wife’s house. So great catching up with them.
December 2 marked the five year anniversary of my husband’s death, and it was a good day. I went out to dinner with Hannah and Jacob and Jacob’s Mom Val – their Mom/Grandma died on December 2 as well two years ago.
Here is what is different about this year than any other year on this date. I usually eat and drink like an asshole. Monday night? I drank iced tea and ate a reasonable dinner. I tracked my points. Didn’t eat a bag of gummies by myself in bed.
This year? I forgave myself. You may be asking for what – and I basically decided that this year to really FULLY move on and not dwell on the past, was to forgive myself for the medical decisions I made for my husband when he was sick.
I’ve been wearing an invisible guilt cape on for five years as I relive the decisions and things that went on five years ago, and this year I decided to take the cape off and throw it in the garbage.
That doesn’t mean I am just forgetting my husband altogether – that will never happen. But this year I was able to remember all the things that I love/miss about him.
- he told me every.single.day that I was beautiful, no matter what I weighed
- hanging out with him in the summer while I grilled and he smoked his cigar and we listened to Frank Sinatra
- his Sunday morning breakfasts he used to make me
- me asking stupid questions during football games while I made snacks 😀
All the good stuff rises to the top after a loss. He was also verytimes opinionated and always thought he was right no matter your argument. He could be stubborn and an asshole at times, but in the end we just went together like peas and carrots.
I’ll be back tomorrow with a 2 point macaroni and cheese recipe made with Alouette cheese – it’s amazing!
Hope you all had a wonderful holiday week and don’t get too stressed over the holiday season. Remember it’s the people around the tree that matter more than the presents underneath.
Welcome back. I love your blog. I am glad to know you have decided to take off the guilt cape. You should. The decisions you made were not wrong. You made your decisions to the best of your ability & that is all anyone can ask of another. Those types of health decisions are incredibly difficult. I find my self reliving the past & going through the decisions made then. But than I remember something you posted. That you cannot move forward if you have one foot planted in the past. That alone has helped me so much. So glad to know you had a great holiday visit with the family. Looking forward to the Mac & Cheese 🧀 recipe.
Beth,
I am happy to see you back. I am very proud of you for being you and doung so good with W.W. i cant wait for that 2 point mac and cheese. Take care of yourself.
Glad to read your blog today.! I follow you on IG, but I do like reading your thoughts, etc. on the blog. Of course, if you don’t feel like doing it – you shouldn’t! You’re not under any obligation to any of us to blog every day, but just know that you’re missed when we don’t find you here 😉 Glad you had a great visit with your brother and family and you’re getting to meet so many of your blog ‘friends’. It seems you are enjoying life in the moment and that’s what it’s all about! Take care and have a great day!
Lynne
Welcome back!
The 5 year point was a huge turning point in our grief journey as well with my Dad. My Mom mentioned that the two of them had been fighting about stupid crap (mostly her yelling at him because he was shopping all the time lol) and she carried that guilt around for YEARS! We are coming up on 10 years in 2020…literally can not believe it’s been so long. There are more smiles than tears now, I can tell stories without sobbing, grief is a process and it’s long!
Yeah, glad you are back! ❤️❤️❤️
Glad you are back! I always started my day drinking coffee and reading your posts. I know you said you don’t feel like blogging anymore because you won’t have any biological grandchildren, but in a way, you’ve created a whole extended online family – it seems like every week you are meeting up with people you wouldn’t have met because of the blog, or having experiences in general that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. It should never feel like a chore, though, and if it has become one, then I support you in your decision to step back. There’s no rule saying you have to post every day just because you did in the past. I think your readers will support any decision you make. (Also, don’t rule out grandchildren just yet —- wait until your daughter is in her early to mid 30s…. she may change her tune.)
You have experienced your grief in public with complete grace. I’ve loved watching you work through it and living the life that makes you happy. I’m sure he’s smiling at all you have done.
Do you use air drop? I can easily move pictures back and forth from my iPhone to my Mac in just a couple of seconds.
Mary
Good to see your blog today! I’m glad you had a good Thanksgiving. The passage of time helps with so many things. Doesn’t seem like it could of been five years already…I can’t help but believe that he would be happy that you are moving on and he would want you to have a full life and be happy!