I love opening the fridge and seeing leftover steak because that means beef for breakfast!

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Jacob was home for breakfast yesterday and I asked him if he wanted a breakfast sammie too – he never says no if I offer to make him food.  He ate his breakfast and said “you are the only person I know who just won’t eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast.  So true – and for the record, lettuce on a breakfast sammie is delicious – just a bit of extra crunch.  The English muffin is 3, the egg/egg white is 2, the 1/2 ounce cheese is 2 and 1.5 ounces of steak is only 1 – so 8 points total.

I had planned on taking a long walk between the rain yesterday, but just as I was about to go, I checked my blood sugar and it was 134 – too low to walk because my blood sugar would drop too much.  So I decided to skip the insulin at lunch and go to the gym in the afternoon.  Still haven’t been to the grocery store yet, so I spun the refrigerator wheel for lunch.  I had leftover pulled pork, which reminded me of coleslaw, and I suddenly realized I had everything to make a slaw to go with the pork.  I hate mayo based slaws though – I am a vinegar girl through and through.  I think that’s why I love my Aunt Martha’s pork bbq so much – it’s east Carolina slaw that my grandpa used to make with Tabasco, crushed red pepper and copious amounts of vinegar.

When I went to a foodie event last December, one of the vendors was Co-op Sauce, where I bought a poblano mustard.

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You could actually substitute any mustard you like, but I like the extra kick of this one in this slaw.

  • 2 tablespoons poblano mustard
  • 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
  • 1 teaspoon garlic
  • 2 tablespoons light agave necar
  • 1 tablespoon grapeseed oil

Mix everything together and store in a mason jar. 

For my lunch, I cut 1/2 cup of red cabbage, shredded one small carrot and two small radishes, and tossed in 1 tablespoon of that vinaigrette above.  I called that 6 servings for 2 points each, but ended up using only half of the slaw on my tostadas for 1 point.

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I reheated the 3 ounces of the pork and then tossed it in Stubb’s Texas sriracha bbq sauce – so there was a TON of flavor on that plate.  Crunchy, spicy and well – porky!  The best combo ever and only 8 smart points.

Finally my blood sugar was high enough to go to the gym.  I ended up doing an hour on the treadmill at 3.5 mph at 8% incline – it helps if you watch a whole episode of property brothers to make the time fly by.



I decided not to go to WW this morning.  I’ve done some emotional eating since Hannah and I had our talk – I love that she opened up to me, but Tony has been on my mind a lot lately.  I keep thinking of things I should have said or done, and thinking about the future we never got to share.   I’ve cried.  But I think it’s a good thing – I need to get past my loss so that I can move forward, and I think every day I wake up, it’s a step in the right direction.

It’s one of the reasons I made fried rice for dinner, so that I could watch the video of him making it so I remember how he made it.   I loved hearing his voice again.  But, I did change his recipe up just a tiny bit – I used leftover grilled chicken and threw that in at the end, and I subbed in Ponzu sauce for the soy sauce.  I ended up using a bag of broccoli slaw that I found in the fridge for my veggies, so this literally came together in about 5 minutes.

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I found it ironic that I used the same bowl to plate my dinner as Tony did in the video.  You guys, I have about 80 bowls to choose from, so I thought that was interesting!   All I know is that I still miss him a lot.  Our marriage wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, and if I am being truthful, he was difficult to live with at times because he always thought he was right.  But in loss, all the good things I remember about him rise to the top.  And there are a lot of great memories to choose from – so I have to hold on to those memories. 

I just have to remind myself that eating shit isn’t going to make me feel better or bring him back.  So here’s to a new week (on Thursday!) of no emotional eating.  I am challenging myself to 7 days of mindful eating – here’s to a new week!