Several of you have guessed that Tony isn’t doing too well these last few weeks. I’ve hinted about his loss of appetite, doesn’t like the smell of food, being tired all the time. Over last weekend we could both tell that things weren’t quite right. While we know he has congestive heart failure and liver problems, those were being closely monitored through weekly blood tests and medications were adjusted accordingly.
I suddenly realized on Friday night that I got home around 5:30. Tony was in his favorite chair. We watched t.v., I ate dinner in the back family room. I cleaned the kitchen, threw a load of laundry in. We caught up on some shows on the DVR. It wasn’t until we were ready to go to bed on Friday night that I realized in 6 1/2 hours Tony never got up to go to the bathroom. Huh.
Saturday I had my cleaning pants on and was busy doing chores around the house. He doesn’t sleep well over night, so he pretty much cat napped most of the day. When I heard him start to slightly snore, I’d move onto computer projects so I wouldn’t wake him. Um, I may have deleted nearly 2,000 unnecessary pictures off of the computer! Sunday is his big football day and my big cooking day! I seriously look forward to this day more than any other. Tony is doing what he loves, and I spend all day in the kitchen. I try to take as many food pictures for my blog for the upcoming week while I have daylight. I made a breakfast pizza for my brunch on Sunday. All of a sudden Tony says “what’s that awful smell?!” My first reaction was “my amazeball breakfast pizza!”
But then I realized the smell of food was making him feel nauseous, and just like that at 11:00 a.m. with a full Sunday ahead of me, my kitchen was closed. I will not sugar coat this – I wanted to cry. Cooking is not only my hobby, but it is my stress reliever. Ever start kneading dough and get lost in the feel of the dough and all the thoughts that are bombarding your mind somehow melt away? That’s what happens to me. It’s my comfort zone.
But I had to take a step back, realize I have to put my feet in Tony’s shoes, and I quickly turned my attitude around. I realized Sunday that Tony sat in his chair from 10:00 a.m. on Sunday until we went to bed at 11:00 p.m. and never moved.
Monday morning I got up. I was all pumped because I was all prepared – my clothes were laid out, my food was packed, my gym clothes were ready to go. Since I had so much time on the computer Sunday I wrote my Monday post the night before and had planned on getting in a brisk 40 minute walk before work. But I woke up, looked at Tony and we both quickly realized that this was out of our hands and we needed to go to the hospital.
So the post I wrote on Monday was kind of a lie. Yes, I did eat that food – but the salad I said from Mariano’s was from the hospital cafeteria. Tony didn’t want to worry his parents or his son until we knew what was really wrong. For all we knew maybe it would just be an adjustment of medications and we would be sent home. We got to the ER at 7:15, but didn’t get assigned a room until after 3 p.m. Our GP was taking full control of the situation, which I appreciated. Turns out Tony’s red blood count was low, we have his existing liver and heart problems, and now we throw in kidney problems on top of that. We now have 5 doctors on his medical “team” to figure out the solution of his now new problem – kidney failure.
So I have used up all my time off at work, and on Monday even went over by about 4 hours. So Tuesday and yesterday I had to go into the hospital 90 minutes before I went to work, and after work I’d spend about 4 hours. I usually have better luck on being there for doctors rounds in the morning, so yesterday morning I got to the hospital at 6:20 and didn’t leave until 8:15, and didn’t see a single one. All we knew was that the day before dialysis may be on the table. Yesterday morning during the nurse shift change, the overnight nurse tells the day nurse “so Jeff is just waiting on getting a shunt put in for dialysis later today.” We were both like “huh?!” Apparently his blood work numbers overnight made our kidney doctor order the dialysis. News to us, but I guess we’ll roll with it.
I have to leave for work not too long after that conversation. I had a Chobani flip that I got at the store a week before last for .99 – score! Only check out the expiration date! I didn’t care – it was close enough that I ate it, on the side I had my microwave egg white/spinach/ham/cheese omelet.
Later in the morning Tony texts me – I give you another episode of Texting with Tony!
I am glad he’s able to keep some sense of humor throughout this whole week. We had a nurse from Indiana on Monday, and when they did the shift change, the Indiana nurse left to grab something and when she came back, Tony said to the new nurse “I can’t believe you think all people from Indiana are dumb!” This nurse turned several shades of red until she finally realized Tony’s sense of humor.
I went to the gym at lunch – and nearly two miles into my treadmill walk/run Tony texts me and says our GP is calling me. So I think “now, in a half hour?!” I jumped off the treadmill, grabbed some paper and a pen in case he called and walked around the gym until it was time to head back to work. No call ever came. I dragged my cell phone, a pen and a piece of paper everywhere I went yesterday. To the bathroom, to fill up my cup of coffee, to the kitchen to heat up my lunch. My lunch was chicken tortilla soup that I had in the freezer – which I doctored up with some Frank’s hot sauce. You know I can put that shit on anything.
I ended up swinging by Jimmy John’s on the way back to the hospital since it’s right across the street from my office. Still hadn’t heard from the doctor yet. I jump in the car from the Jimmy John’s parking lot, get on the busy road that takes me to the hospital, when the phone rings and our GP is calling me. What? No pen, no paper. Oh well. Bottom line was that he and the kidney doctor thought he had a type of kidney syndrome that effects your kidneys when you have liver disease. He hopes that the dialysis will “wake” up his kidneys so they can function on their own again. I asked the doctor if Tony is brought to a different part of the hospital for the dialysis, and he said “no, they do it right in his room.”
So I walk into his room and see this giant machine:
And a tech who has to be in the room the whole time. When I got there he had an hour and twenty minutes to go, and then it takes about another hour for her to break down the machine and clean it. So from beginning to end, this was about a six hour process. The shunt is on the side of his neck – two ports – one that takes the blood out, through the machine to clean it of impurities and then the second port to bring the clean blood back in.
The doctor warned me that Tony would be very tired afterwards, and he was absolutely right – you know I am the sleep whisperer when I am with Tony and I don’t mind a bit. He feels safe with me in the room and can fall asleep.
I am not sure he was all that thrilled to take a selfie with me though! And if you were wondering, yes, I totally need my bangs cut.
Tony ate some soup, crackers and jello and I ate 1/2 of my Jimmy John sandwich – only the best one – Vito with no tomato, or stinky onion put extra cherry peppers for the win.
I did manage to get all my steps in yesterday too:
I won’t have much more information for several days. He will continue to get dialysis every day for the next several days, and then the doctors will reevaluate the plan of attack. Your continued support, email asking how he’s doing, adding him to prayer chains – it is more appreciated than you’ll ever know.
And you’ll be very proud of me – I haven’t eaten a pizza by myself this whole week! I am an emotional eater and with no eyes watching me, I could do some serious damage. Just trying to take each day as it comes and making the best of it. Tony has had such a rough year this year – starting on January 1 of this year, I think he’s been hospitalized six times this year so far between home and Mayo. I just wish he could catch a break, ya know? I tell him all the time that I’d switch places with him in a heartbeat, but then he tells me he couldn’t live without me and that he could never be as strong as I am if the roles were reversed. I love him.
I’m just checking up on blogs after being gone for far too long. So sorry to hear what you guys are going through!
I’m always amazed at how well you keep things together and as normal as possible through the scary times. I would have eaten a whole friggin’ cake by now!
Hang in there.
As you can probably tell from my flurry of comments I am way behind in blog reading and ugh, I’m so so sorry to hear about Tony not doing well. I wish I could send my mom (she’s a nurse and does a lot of home care) to help take care of him!!
Oh Biz – I am so sorry to hear about Tony and this new health issue – I am sending you guys so many good thoughts that the dialysis works! It seems like you guys have a great medical team in your corner and both you and Tony seem to be keeping amazing attitudes through all of the setbacks – you guys are such a great example of a good couple that can roll with the punches and just keep smiling. Thinking of you guys!!!
I’m sending you guys love and prayers! I hope the docs are able to figure it out and get Tony well again!
Sending much love to you both! Hang in there Vat!!!!!
So sorry to hear about Tony. I have been reading your blog for years but have only commented once. I love your spunk! Tony is a lucky man to have you. You are strong and care so much about him!! Prayers to you both.
Tony’s so lucky to have you! He’s got doctors taking care of him, make sure you take care of YOU. Will be thinking of you both
My prayers go out tonight for you and Tony. Hope the kidneys wake up and he feels better soon. Sorry you have to go through this again. Hugs.
Oh Biz….sorry to hear about Tony. I kinda thought something was up when you hinted a few things about him. Just know you and Tony are in good hands. I am sure you have many people praying for you. Keep looking up…there is healing in the Cross of Jesus.
You are a strong and loving woman. The power of prayer is well documented. Look at all the people including me who are joining that ground swell. Hugs to you, darlin’. You are doing good!
Oh, my 🙁 My brother was on dialysis for a few days one time. It was scary for me, too! I remember well! Your “plate is full”, as we say in my family. You have so much going on…yet, you take the time to blog every.single.day. Thank you. Hang in there. I hope hubby is better soon. Very soon. XOXO
OMG Biz! I am sitting here, just home from the day at 630PM and now I am bawling my eyes out for you. I kind of figured Tony wasn’t feeling the greatest but I had no inkling that he was so sick. My thoughts and prayers are with you! PLEASE let any of us know if there’s anything we can do. I know it’s super hard to ask for help but if you need something don’t be ashamed to ask. If I wasn’t 7 hours away I’d do anything for you!
You are both in my prayers! Hugs,
Biz, So sorry to hear of Tony’s troubles. I’ve been reading your blog regularly for a long time now. I found you while searching out some inspiration on living with Type 1 diabetes, and am amazed by your positive attitude and drive. I’m also ashamed to say I don’t handle things with the grace that you do. You are an inspiration to me to be better.
Prayers and good wishes to both of you and hope Tony is feeling better soon.
I was wondering when this post would be coming. I’m so sorry friend. I’ve been praying for you both. You have an amazing outlook about this and you have lots of love being poured out on you both. xoxo
Biz, You and Tony are in my prayers…..stay strong.
Biz, best of thoughts to you and Jeff. I know you are strong, but we are all here for you when you need us.
Oh, Biz!! I’m so very sorry!! I feel so frustrated for y’all!!! I’m glad you made the decision on Monday to go to the hospital. I hope that the dialysis helps Tony feel much better very quickly!!!
Stay strong – cry when you need to, vent when you need to and take care of yourself!!!!
Hi Biz, so sorry to hear Tony’s not feeling well. Keeping your family in my prayers and thoughts. Stay tough! Hugs, Maria
Lot of love and healing thoughts from my family to yours, Biz. ♥
Add me to the list of people praying for you both.
Damn Damn Damn! So sorry to hear it. I will be thinking about ya’ll. <3
Lots of hugs, prayers and love to you. Tony will feel better after dialysis, his blood will be clean! Let us all know what we can do, you have a whole team behind you!
Keep strong, and hang in there.
I’m glad you are finally able to put this out on the blog, kiddo – I know it’s been tough trying to keep a happy tone when this shit is going down. Fingers crossed the dialysis makes the Tonster feel like a new man – you both are in my thoughts.
Biz,I am so sorry to hear this. Tony has had a rough year. Hopefully the dialysis will help. Keeping both of you in my prayers. Praying for strength for you and healing for him.
Bizz – I am so sorry to hear of your husband’s ongoing medical issues. You are such a blessing to him. I don’t think I’ve ever commented on your blog before, but I read it every day. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said I was going to make the Buffalo Chicken Chili – and I still never have!! Maybe I will this weekend and will send you all my good thoughts and prayers when I do. And I won’t tell you if I add an onion to it….. 😉 Hang in there!
So sorry, Biz!!!! Tony and you are in my thoughts and prayers! This has been such a difficult year for you… I hope he’ll be better soon and you’ll get some answers and a plan of attack.
I’ve worked with Biz for a long time. I know Tony. He’s a great guy with a wonderful sense of humor. I admire both of them tremendously. Their love and support for each other is obvious every hour of every day. Praying for you. Please let me know if there is anything you need or anything I can do. I’m emotionally eating for you!
Saying a prayer that this is the answer for Tony and that he will be able to come home soon.
So sorry to hear this! Sending hugs and get well prayers your way!
Well, I’m glad they are attacking this head on and that you guys are getting some answers, even if they aren’t the answers you wanted. You two sure have had a hell of a time lately.
Thoughts and prayers to both of you… and don’t forget that if you feel overwhelmed there is no shame in reaching out to those who love you!
Hang in there, Biz. Tony’s got a great team of doctors who will get him well.
Dialysis is tough stuff, but once the toxins are flushed out, Tony is going to feel a world better–and have an appetite. Pretty soon he’s going to be begging you to make his football snacks for him.
In the meantime, why not find a homeless shelter or a women’s shelter and volunteer to help cook for the residents? I do that once a month and it’s super therapeutic, they give me free rein, and it’s really rewarding. Something like that would give you a chance to cook until Tony started feeling better.
I’ll be saying more than a few prayers or you guys.
Aw Biz.
🙁
We’re thinking of you two.
Love you guys…prayers going up..xox
Ugh Biz I am so sorry to hear about Tony’s troubles! I know this has to be incredibly hard on you too. Take care!
Also, how do you make you egg omelet thingy?! Do you make it in a circle thing of some sort? Looks delicious!
Poor Tony! Please let him know that he’s in my thoughts (as are you). Sending white light and lots of love your way.
Sending tony healing thought, good sleep, and no pain.
I am so sorry, Biz. The human body is such a mystery, I truly hope the doctor’s can figure this out and get him feeling better! I’ve got you both in prayer! Hang in there.
i love you and Tony! Let me know if there is anything I can do for you from down here, any snacks that you wish you had, whatever! <3
Tony, being in the hospital is a downer but there is good in everything, right? At least you are being served breakfast in bed. Ok, so kidding aside…we here down in Mississippi are wishing you well and sending all of our best energies your way for you to get back home with the Mrs. Tony. Hugs and take care! HANG IN THERE Y’ALL! =)
Holding you and Tony up in prayers and sending love, light, and positive vibes your way. Hoping recovery is speedy.
Hi Biz! First time commenting here, though I’ve been reading you for sometime now. Reading your earlier posts, I was a bit concerned about the aversion to food/ smells. My prayers with both of you. Am sure you guys will tide over this.
So sorry to hear you’re going through this again. I hope the dialysis has positive results and it would be so great if it does the trick and only needs to be temporary! I’ll be thinking of you both and keeping you in my prayers. Congrats on not eating a pizza by yourself, but don’t beat yourself up about whatever you need to do to find some comfort for yourself. Sometimes pizza helps, sometimes a walk in the fresh air, some time with your Hannah, cooking in your kitchen (you know those nurses would love some of your treats), whatever works…take care of yourself. Peace.
So sorry to hear this about Tony. I am praying for a full speedy recovery for him. Hope it’s nothing but good news from now on. You are amazing Biz. Really.
Oh Biz I am so sorry to hear about this…..you do give so much of yourself on this blog that I was kind of wondering about Tony even though you were not giving any details. And I have to fess up because I am eating pizza for breakfast while I read your blog….the leftovers from last night:( because it has been a really bad week because my mom is in the hospital with a broken hip and just so many complications. You are my hero……you amaze me on how well you hold it together all the time. I will pray for you and Tony today and I will try to follow your lead and keep my act together. My family seems to be in crisis every time Tony is in crisis….we don’t need to have these things in common!!:) Take care Biz. I am thinking of you….an anonymous fan from Canada
Prayer is a powerful force and many of us are praying a lot for Tony. We are also praying for you too. I have had liver problems caused by a surgery on my bowels I had years ago keeping me from absorbing nutrients I need. Prayer is the only thing that got me through. When it seemed all hope was gone, God came through with a miracle that changed everything, and with a simple little cheap med, gave me back my life. I knew that it was up to Him, so I just relaxed and let Him accomplish it as we prayed. The power of prayer is AWESOME! DON’T GIVE UP! I told the Lord….”if You created my body, then You can sure repair it!” Love and prayers to and for you and Tony!
Actually, it’s a relief just to have the news out there finally. Just let me know if I can do anything. (McDonald’s gift certificates, ruffled Cheez-Its, you name it.)
Prayers for you and for Tony’s health to improve, I know he is in good hands. Hang in there girl! xoxo
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!
Biz, so sorry to read about Tony. I’m thinking of you both and hope for the best. Kudos to you on not emotionally eating. It doesn’t help anyway. 🙂
You both have had a rough year so far. It’s really time you guys get a break. Let’s just say in 2014 you get all the sh*t and 2015 will be the most wonderful year for the both of you, you deserve it.
I don’t pray but you are in my thoughts. Hang in there sweety.
Oh, Biz, SO sorry! I will keep you both in my thoughts…a day at a time works for me. Hang in there!
I’m so sorry to hear about all of this Biz, I can’t imagine how stressful this must be for both of you. Know that you and Tony are being prayed for, thought about and well wishes are being sent from TX!!
Oh Biz! I’m so sorry to read this. I hope the doctors can get this under control ASAP. Tell Tony that I don’t know what he did to piss off his organs, but they need to make-up and get to living harmoniously together again. Keep your head up & know that lots of prayers and positive thoughts are being sent your way.
Biz, so sorry to hear this since it’s been such a rough year for Tony ( & you). Will keep you two in my prayers.
Saying a prayer for both you and Tony. I hope you get positive news soon I know waiting is hard. Hang in there!
Biz, this is my first time responding to you. I have been reading your blog for a couple of years and really enjoy it. Just wanted to say that you and your family will be in my prayers. You’re such a strong person and always seem to have such a positive attitude. Take care of Biz too, life as a care taker can be very hard. I hope that the treatments help Tony and that he can get home and that you can get back to being “Bizzy in your Kitchen”. Take care ~ moe
You know I’m always praying for you guys and thinking of you. My grandmother has been on dialysis for a couple years now and is really doing GREAT on it. She even went on a cruise that offered dialysis to patients. <3 <3 <3
Well, this is not what I wanted to hear this morning!! I’m so sorry that Tony is going through another medical crisis. I once asked my brother-in-law, a surgeon, why a lot of doctors kept patients and families waiting to hear from them. His reply was, for him, he usually had so much going on with many patients that he needed time to think things through and time to gain enough energy to talk to people. Hoping that the dialysis prompts Tony’s kidneys to get back on track.
Best,
Bonnie