It was a chilly start to the day.  I need to stock up on gloves – I gave my pair to Hannah the other day and I could have used them yesterday on the train platform.

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This is a weird breafkast, but it worked.  What you didn’t see before I took this picture, was the hard boiled egg and ham that was on the side – these banana Chobani granola bites with a drizzle of sugar free syrup was my dessert.

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I had so much to do, I sound like a broken record, but especially when there are deadlines to get attorney time entered before the cut off.  I thought I had until 5, but it was 5 EST, so I worked through lunch and ate this butternut squash chili for lunch around 1:30.

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Someone signed up for nigh secretary, but I just made the 6:25 train – the last express train to my town – whew!

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Hannah was knees deep in a cleaning frenzy – decluttering her and Jacob’s room, and everything basically from their room was in the hallway, kitchen and dining room.  It’s best to keep your hands and feet away while she is in cleaning mode šŸ˜€   I reheated my bone broth and made a quick soup, this time remembering to add mushrooms!  So good.

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I follow this girl Jane (themuchomama) on Instagram, I haven’t read all the WW weeklies because I was like a month behind (:P) but this is a soup that was in last weeks weekly – sounds delicious, but there is no way in hell I’d add TWO whole cups of onions – ew!  I’ll try with 1/4 cup – baby steps. šŸ˜€

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And while I have the Halloween filter, I thought I’d share this one – you’re welcome šŸ˜€

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I DVR This is Us.  Hands down the best show on t.v. right now.  I always get something out of it, and it nearly always has me in tears.  

A friend of mine on facebook was reaching out if anyone had an old phone they weren’t using for her husband to use until their contract was up.  Um, I may have every single phone Tony and I ever had – including a blackberry and multiple flip phones!  I had a Samsung Galaxy that I thought would work for her and told her I would send it to her.  But I had to erase everything on it – and in case you were wondering, I still have all the chargers for those phones šŸ˜›  

I plugged it in overnight, and realized the last time I used that phone was 2013 – and I immediately went to texts between Tony and I.  Most of it was me texting him letting him know where I was at “hey honey, just leaving work and heaed to the gym – talk to you later!”  I would send him pictures of my workouts and he’d reply “great job boog!”  (booger butt was one of the MANY knicknames he had for me).  It made me sad.  I miss the back to back banter we had through the day and actually had forgotten already.  How could I have forgotten that?

This time of year is hard for me because it’s what I call “the beginning of the end.”  Even my timehop didn’t see it coming – three years ago yesterday we went to the movies and out to lunch – our last date.

So at the end of the show, Kate and Kevin are talking in the kitchen.  It struck me so hard, because while I am still hanging onto the past, I know that Tony would be telling me that he would want me to have EVERYTHING even if he is not here.

Kevin:  Did you sit in your car eating fast food staring at where the house used to be?  Okay, he’s gone.  He’s not coming back, and even if you sit there in the exact same spot that you were when he left, he’s not coming back.

Kate:  I know.

Kevin:  He wouldn’t want you to stay – not if there is nothing for you there?  You know what he would want for you?  

EVERYTHING.