I remember going through the motions with my parents in law and my Mom while planning Tony’s memorial at the funeral home. I heard the funeral director say to me “we contact social security directly, it’s a Federal law, but they will be in touch with you to discuss the $255 contribution to your husband’s funeral expenses. Huh. Maybe a week after Tony’s memorial I got a call from social security telling me that they would be setting up a phone call to verify information, and that the first available date would be on January 27 at 11:10 a.m. Again, huh?
So yesterday at my desk, my cell phone rang and it was social security. I had to provide Tony’s date of birth, birth date, parents names, my name, date of birth, where I was born, MY parents names, where Tony died – and at the end they had to tape record me saying that everything I discussed was true and correct. And that was it. “A surviving spouse may receive a special lump-sum death payment of $255.” I’ve never really thought that $255 could be described as a “lump-sum” and $255 towards funeral expenses is just a drop in the bucket. But it was hard to keep hearing the word “deceased” with every question: “what is the deceased date of birth, etc.” So, in about 30 days or so, I’ll be getting a direct deposit from social security. Which will basically cover my hotel stay for my Spartan Race in Milwaukee! You know I have to put a positive spin on all this shit going on in my life.
Hannah worked at the coffee shop so I stopped by on my way to work. Instead of a parfait I decided to try one of their breakfast sammie’s, but not have it cooked and I would cook it at work on my panini maker. It was called the “Eldorado.” Egg, bacon, baby spinach on 9-grain bread with pepper jack cheese and this chipotle sauce that Hannah put on the side so the bread didn’t get soggy. I ended up using just a schmear of the chipotle sauce, and I can’t believe it’s not butter to grill the panini.
That’s a salad plate by the way, but AFTER I ate it, I put it into Calorie Count, and realized this sammie comes in at a whopping 522 calories. I probably could have only cooked half yesterday and had the other half today with some fruit, but oh well! It was delicious!
I had legs on tap for strength, then ended up walking 2.5 miles at lunch:
Knowing I was going to do my hour of walking after work, I took half the amount of insulin that I needed for . . . more lasagna soup! I’ll probably have it again for lunch today, it’s just so damn good.
So imagine my surprise when I go to test my blood sugar before leaving the office, I was so surprised that it was so low!
My blood sugar normally drops 125 points – and if I worked out my blood sugar would have dropped to about 7, which obviously would be impossible because I’d start feeling like shit once it got below 65. This is always a dilemma. Do I eat more to work out, which will basically make my workout a wash? In the end, I realized that I had already nearly reached 10,000 steps before leaving the office, and I cut my losses and came home.
The kids were home and Hannah and Jacob gave me this cute picture. Do you know the song “A Bushel and A Peck?” My Mom used to sing that to her grandkids when they were little. So sweet!
I had meal “ideas” for dinner, and it’s funny because Hannah doesn’t really like red meat all that much, and Jacob doesn’t like ground beef, but when I said I could make burger sliders and fries they both said yes! Hannah said it was the best burger she’d ever had, and Jacob cleared his plate. It’s been nice having people eat and like my food! Looking back, Tony didn’t really eat much of my food the last year of his life. Nothing tasted good to him, he’d have a yogurt and some fruit before I got home from work, and he’d have about 2 bites of whatever I made for dinner. I cook my burgers on a cast iron skillet in the winter, at a super high heat so that they get a nice crust on both sides – beef, it’s what’s for dinner!
But the show stopper of that burger? THE MUSTARD! Yep, the mustard on the bun is from my parents in law – they sent me a gift box from The Mustard Factory in Naples, Florida and this was the first mustard that I opened:
Holy balls people, this is amazing! Perfect amount of spice, without being too spicy, yet it still has that vinegary kick from the mustard. Pretty sure that will be gone within a week! Thank you Bonnie and Carl for sending it to me.
So I have my plan for training for my Spartan race, and from what I have read, strength training is 70% of the course and 30% cardio. So starting Monday I am going into a pretty intense 12 week workout strength training program used to train for Spartan races. I am actually thrilled that I have a 16 week goal to achieve, if nothing more that it gives me something to focus on in the future, and will help me not want to eat deep dish pizzas all by myself every night. It’s not too late to leave a comment on this post and try to win a free entry to a Spartan race near you!
Thank you for all your continued support, emails, texts, etc. to help me get through each day without Tony – I will be forever grateful for your love and hugs!
Now go kick some ass today!
$255 is such a random number.
I love that picture they gave you. So sweet!
I cannot even imagine the amount of sorrow and stress of dealing with the death of a loved one (let alone a spouse) and then you have to deal with the “financial” shit that goes along with that. God! No one is in their right mind to make good decisions in a fog of grief. And then you’re expected to make important financial decision. Ugh. Big hug for you. Hope you have some friends/family that are helping!
Sometimes you want to say to the government – Why bother? Indeed. That $255 probably costs about $3000 in taxes.
Where everyone is saying that 255 $ is nothing for funeral expenses, as someone from another country I’m surprised you even get money for that from SC. Here in Holland you get nothing, you have to take care of everything yourself. You can get insurance for it though which I have because I don’t want anyone having money problems when that happens, it’s sad enough without having to think about money.
I still think it’s so cool you are going to do the Spartan race. Look forward to following your training and of course how it will go. Enjoy training.
(((((hugs hugs hugs)))))
I do my burgers in a cast iron skillet, too! That’s the only way to get any sort of good crust on them indoors (at least since the rest of my cookware is nonstick).
And $255 is a very odd number, but it’s the SSA so everything they do is weird. I’m glad you will be able to put it to good use with your trip. I’m sure Tony would have wanted you to do great things with that $255 🙂
Hey, we had lasagna soup for dinner tonight! I think it was a skinnytaste recipe???
We skipped the cheese topping because 2 of us are lactose intolerant, but it was awesome. Even my picky 9 year old asked for more.
That amount for funeral expenses sounds like the same amount we got for my dad 23 years ago!