I realize that not everyone who follows my blog, follows me on Instagram or Facebook, so I thought I would post Tony’s obituary here. With the help of my brother Charlie, I think it fits him (and us) perfectly.
You all know my nickname is Biz, but every couple years Tony would add another name. My middle name is Ann, so Tony called me Biz Ann for a while. Then he added another name and called me Biz Ann Mae. Then it was Biz Ann May Alcott (because Little Women is one of my favorite books). Then he added Biz Ann Mae Alcott DeFazio. Why? I don’t know. And the last was Biz Ann May Alcott DeFazio DiGiorno. DiGiorno is my favorite frozen pizza if I am in a pinch.
Thank you THANK YOU THANK YOU for all you kind messages, notes, texts, comments, emails, etc. You’ve helped me get through this week more than you’ll ever know. I am so grateful.
Jeffrey Carlo Velatini, 54, of Cary, died Tuesday December 2, 2014 at home surrounded by family.
Jeff was proud of his Italian heritage but even more proud of the fact that he had two distinct eyebrows and no back hair. A lifelong Chicago White Sox apologist, he was eager to point out the number of years the Cubs had gone without a World Series win. It’s been one hundred and six years. This remains the longest championship drought in North American professional sports. The longest.
Jeff loved Grey Goose, good whiskey, and a fine cigar while complaining about the odors emanating from the kitchen of his wife of nearly fourteen years. “What smells like ass?” was a favorite phrase.
Jeff (a.k.a Tony) is survived by his pretty wife, Elizabeth (a.k.a. Biz Ann Mae Alcott DeFazio DiGiorno, nee Hills); children, Joseph Carlo (Liz) Velatini and Hannah Hills; his parents, Carl and Bonnie Velatini; sister, Jody Velatini; mother-in-law, Jerry Hills; many nieces, nephews and cousins.
Memorial visitation will be held from 4-9p.m., Friday, December 5, 2014, at Davenport Family Funeral Home, 419 E. Terra Cotta Ave., Crystal Lake, IL 60014.
Burial will be held privately. Ashes to be scattered at the place where the White Sox play (Jeff refused to acknowledge the name “U.S. Cellular Field”), Soldier Field, and in Ponte Vecchio, Italy.
Memorials may be made to Rainbow Hospice, www.rainbowhospice.org.
Oh Biz,
I haven’t been on Blogger for weeks and I’m just now finding out about Tony. I’m so sorry for your loss. I know you two have been through so many health scares over the years and I figured this was just one of those things and he’d come through it. Gosh, I’m just so shocked I have no idea what to say except that I’m thinking of you during this difficult time.
I wish I had been following your blog back when I lived in Illinois so we could have actually met in person!
Peace and healing to you and your family.
Just beautiful!
I’m so sorry for your loss and for the loss of the world. You are an amazing woman and you two were a role model of a beautiful partnership. We may never get the chance to meet but please know that I’m sending love and hugs your way. Stay amazing, stay true to you and thank you for letting us into your life. RIP Tony. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM0-ZU8njdo
Tony would be proud. Never have I read an obituary that made me laugh and cry. Very well written and it had Tony’s personality shining through. (((Hugs to you)))
Dear Biz: When I saw this post – well, there’s not much I can say that hasn’t been said by all the wonderful, supportive people who’ve posted already. I was in your shoes at one time (although with two young children) and although it’s been many years, whenever I hear of someone who has to bear such a loss, it all comes back. The obituary was just perfect and so full of the sense of both who Tony was, and the relationship the two of you had. I wish you peace in your heart and never hesitate to lean as hard as you need on those close to you in your life. And to vent to your online friends when you just can’t open up to those in your real life. xoxo to you and to your daughter and your stepson, Biz.
This could not have been written better. Thinking of you.
Hi. I am visiting after reading Kim’s latest posting. Having lost my husband when our two were little I am moved to comment. Your obit speaks volumes about Tony – what a gem of a guy. I am so very sorry to learn that he has passed on. It’s an exhausting roller coaster of a time that you’ve just been through. Be kind to yourself. Sending a jumbo virtual hug.
A beautiful obituary and wonderful places to scatter his ashes – ponte vecchio is stunning and a baseball field is sort of “home” you are in my thoughts
I am so sorry to hear about Tony. Please know that I will keep you in my prayers! I lost my husband 3 years ago and it was (and is) the hardest thing to get through. My heart goes out to you, please know he is watching over you and will always be with you. I will keep you in my thoughts and send love and strength to you, as will all of us who have grown to know you both through your website. My sincere sympathies, Terri James
The obituary is so beautifully perfect, Biz! You and Charlie did a great job of capturing the Tony that I’ve come to appreciate from this side of the screen. I am sending so much love and serious hugs from New York, Biz. xoxo
I wanted to tell you again how sorry I am for your loss. Tony’s obituary however, is perfect! I am keeping you in my thoughts and sending positive wishes your way. When you get a chance, could you email me your address? Thank you xoxo
I’m behind on reading posts and just saw this. I’m so sorry for your loss. Well done on the obit as it’s rare that people allow the humour of the person it’s honouring to come through. Beautifully done.
Oh Biz….I’ve read your blog forever, but this is my first post…I just re-read your last few months…my heart goes out to you, and I have sent many healing angels from South FL to surround you…much love to you during these saddest of times….
I am soooo sorry for your loss… I’m not quite sure what to say… I have been following your blog and you truly inspire me health wise to get in better shape and live a full life.. Nothing I can say right now is ever going to ease what you are going thru.. But God watches over us all and I truly believe He is there in happiness and in sorrow… May God bless you and your family and be with you at this time… I am tearing up right now as I write this comment… Prayers and Condolences for you and your family. Dawn
Biz, you have been on my mind all week (I know that doesn’t help anything but…).
I wish I could help somehow!!
Oh, Little Women is my all-time favorite book!!! One of the very few books that I’ve read more than once!!!
Beautiful.
Coming by from Day with K.T. to send you a virtual hug and let you know that people all over the place are thinking of you. I am so sorry about Tony.-Ashley
Beautiful Biz! I have been thinking about you all day yesterday and still am. Take care sweety.
I only recently started following you, but I am saddened to hear of your loss. I wish you peace and comfort during this difficult time. What a beautiful obituary you wrote for such a loving partner. Heidi from New Hampshire
I am so so so very sorry for your loss. We don’t know one another but I feel like we do because I’m one of Kim’s readers… jeez… I’m just so very sorry 🙁
I’m so sorry for your loss. Every blog post, including this, just shines with the love you share, and I don’t have any words to express how sad I am to read this
So sorry to hear of Tony’s passing. Hugs to you and your family. Xo
Beautiful!
So sorry to hear that Tony passed away. I will pray for you and his family.
i always enjoyed reading about the two of you and the post that Tony wrote.
Oh, Biz….:(
Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs—–nothing else will suffice. Love, Carol
Beautiful, Biz. Tony would have loved it almost as much as he loved you.
You’re in my prayers.
That was the best obit. I have ever heard. Fits you two perfectly. I left a comment the other day on Instagram about Tony’s sense of humor. What a special way to honor and remember him. This is such a great example of celebrating his life and wonderful memories- I don’t know how you keep the attitude you do but it inspires me more then you know!
Beautifully written , sending lots of hugs your way.
Beautiful, honest and touching. I am very sorry for your loss.
Oh bless your heart I’m so, so sorry. I don’t really know you, but I know that pain and what it feels like to be the saddest girl in the whole world. You seem to have such an uplifting spirit, so please hang in there and cry and love and laugh and remember that wonderful man. Hugs from Louisiana.
Biz,
My condolences. I always loved your stories about Tony. I will remember him the best with the cigar. Please know that he was loved by such a beautiful family and you the most.
Oh Biz… I am so, so sorry for your loss of your cherished Tony. I loved getting to know him thru your writing and loved the both of you…. You are a gem and our Father does indeed hold you in the palm of His Hand … I am continuing to pray (((hug))))
Biz,
I just want to say that I am so sorry for your loss. I’ve read your blog for years, although I think this may be the first time I’ve every posted. My heart breaks for you, and I wish you peace and comfort.
That is hands down the best and most clever obituary I have ever read. I want to laugh AND cry. I have read your blog faithfully for two years and I am addicted. I love it. I feel like I know you. I wish I did as a matter of fact. I could tell that your beloved Tony had a wonderful sense of humor. I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you huge and heartfelt hugs from Missouri.
I’m stopping by from Kim’s blog to offer my condolences. The obituary is beautiful.
It’s perfect…tears and smile as I read it. Tony will definitely be missed. Sending hugs and love to you and your family.
Oh Biz! So sorry! My husband Don and I send you love, hugs and wish we could do more to ease your pain! Tony was such a sweetheart and we all grew to love him through you. You are two of the finest people we have ever met on the Net and probably in life too. He will always be in our hearts and we will do our best to pray for your strength and always follow you as you permit on your blog. God bless and our four arms of love are around you from afar and you are close in our hearts….always! Don and Joyce from Niagara Falls, NY
What a wonderful obituary. You are in my prayers. Tony’s sense of humor was so unique and appreciated!
I am soooo sorry for your loss, I too, lost a loved one the 11 of Nov. my son of 46 years. Died suddenly at home , no warning, heart attack. I am still in shock.
We have to stay strong. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Sending you big warm hugs from the west coast!!!!!! Tony has that perfect personality, I can see why you loved him so much! God bless.
14 GREAT years, Biz. I can only hope everyone is as lucky as you! This obituary fits him perfectly. Stay strong and big hugs are being sent your way.
We are with you in our thoughts today, Biz. The obituary fits him perfectly.
So sorry for your loss…Will be praying for you and your family, and Tony’s family…Wishing you tons of love and support from those who are close
It’s perfect Biz. Sending hugs and tons of love out to you and your family. I know Tony will be smiling down upon you and watching over you. You have a new guardian angel. Even though we’ve never met in person I feel I can call you a friend, blog friends are just as wonderful as friends I see everyday. I have to say you are one of the strongest people I know and you will be okay. You have so many people who love you and will make sure you are okay. Sending more prayers as well and just remember all of the good times and years you had with Tony. They will make you smile again.
So sorry for your loss. I’ve been a reader for a long time and feel like you’re my cyber friend! xoxoxo
I have been reading your blog for about two years. I am so sorry about Tony’s” (Jeff!) passing. What a guy! All your readers will miss his humor his special way of dealing with cooking aromas! Thinking of you…..
Susan from Houston
Perfect, I love it. And can I tell you I was thinking about you in my dreams. I really want to come to the memorial service but it’s so far away. I dreamed that it was moved to my neighborhood and I was able to go and meet you in person. Guess that means I’m thinking of you. Big hugs.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. 🙁
It’s beautiful and so fitting. <3 I'm so sorry for your loss and you are in my prayers these coming days/weeks/months. HUGSSSS
So perfect and so you guys. Lots of love. <3
It’s perfect, and I’m soooo sorry Biz, this is the first I’m hearing about Tony’s passing, and am so sad for you. I pray for your strength and shining attitude to help get you through this hard time. Amazingly, I read this email and then opened a separate “daily thought” email I subscribe to, and it said this:
Grief…
“The five stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief.”
― Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Funny how relative life can get. I send a HUGE hug to you and so sorry for all your’s and your family’s pain right now. -Kelly B.
Just perfect. Sounds like you’ve got plenty of great memories! Hugs!
Oh im soooo sorry, I was looking on your blog just last night to see update on tony, I was telling my husband about you, how I have been following you for years and how tony was on hospice, great obituary i think it does fit him well…not only will he be missed by you and your family but all your followers, he was a part of our lives also…he is at piece and you can bet on his cigars, he is watching over you, so watch those smells:) we are all here for you…you are loved by soooooo many…
Aww, Biz….I can’t even begin to understand the depth of your pain right now. I’m so sorry for the loss of your wonderful husband and best friend. As a long time blog reader, I feel like I got to know “Tony” through all the stories you’ve shared so his loss is felt by many, I’m sure. The obituary fits perfectly the personality I’ve come to know from reading here. Sending you so much love, Biz. Hang in there. ♥
Biz- just happened over here after reading about Tony and you on “Day with KT”. So sorry to hear about your husband’s death. He sounds like he was a joy to be around, so glad you got to know him so well through the time you had together.
Until you meet again…keep those memories alive!
It is just perfect. So much love to you
That was a beautiful obituary.
Oh, Biz, I missed this somehow. I’ve been following you silently for years. I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your other half – you’ll be in my thoughts. His obituary was perfect for the person you let us know through you for so long – and it’s probably the best one I’ve ever read in my life. <3
Somehow I stumbled upon your site and I think I read for at least an hour starting with Tony’s obituary. All I can say is he would be happy to read his obituary filled with honesty and humor. You are a hoot! (Sorry, it’s a southern expression.) I can tell that you filled his days with laughter, and he must have done the same for you. I laughed and cried reading my way through your blog. One thing I know for sure is that I’m going to work on my obituary now so that my husband (or sons) will have a good laugh when they read it. You are one feisty lady, and you’ll survive this. Wishing you peace and acceptance in the days ahead.
I think that’s beautiful and suits him well. xo
Biz I am so sorry to hear this. I too have been following quietly for years. My thoughts and prayers are with you. This is such a lovely obituary.