It’s been way too long of me sitting on the side lines these last few months. I don’t know if I am having a mid-life crisis or what, but ever since Tony went to the Mayo Clinic this summer, I haven’t been able to keep it together. Sure, on the outside you wouldn’t know that I am any different. But with the fear of the unknown with Tony’s health, you’d think that I would do everything in my power to keep myself as healthy as possible to be strong for the both of us. But it’s hard being strong for everyone all the time. Once I let the few extra licks and tastes enter the picture, next thing you know a couple days of skipped workouts, turns into a string of days.
Here’s the thing about when I exercise – I tend to be more careful what I eat because I think to myself “do you want that three bites of whatever to negate the one hour of working out you just did?!” 9 times out of 10, the answer is no. But when you take the exercise out of the equation, I just don’t give a shit about what I eat. And it seems that if the exercise is lacking, and the eating is lacking, then everything else starts to slack too – laundry piles up, I may go two weeks between mopping the kitchen floor, I don’t balance the checkbook as often. You get the idea.
Well, my pity party is over with. I can’t compare my life to anyone else. And while I am happy for my Facebook friend who is on their FOURTH vacation of the year stating “it’s so good to get away and relax” when every day seems relaxing to me in my book, I just need to . . . stop. One day I might think “why can’t we be the ones going on vacation?” to then thinking “you have everything you need, stop being greedy and appreciate the things you do have.”
While I can’t control the things around me all the time, I suddenly realized that between June and December of last year, shit was still going on, yet I managed to work out, stick with Insanity for 101 days straight and lost 20 pounds. All while Tony lost his job, bills were piling up and I was looking for a second job. Bottom line is, there is always going to be “stuff” going on in our lives, I just have to kick my ass and keep focused on getting healthy.
I put on my Healthy for 2014 Page on Facebook yesterday that I was just going to take it one day at a time. My goals for yesterday? Drink 64 ounces of water and not eating anything after dinner. Well, I succeeded at both!
Breakfast was an egg white/spinach/ham omelet with American cheese, hot sauce (duh!) and a slice of toast.
I cook my eggs in the microwave – so fluffy! Thanks again Mom for the egg cooker!
I decided to test out my knee just by walking. I didn’t want to do anything too strenuous and I enjoyed watching the Chew while walking for 40 minutes and doing 2.5 miles. I will say though, after favoring my right leg for so long, the left leg is definitely weaker than the other. I had to consciously force myself to put the same amount of weight on each leg while I was walking – I actually broke a sweat!
When’s the last time you saw a gym selfie?!
I made a pot of chicken noodle soup over the weekend. I also brought a sandwich, but it was already 1:00 in the afternoon, and I thought the soup would be enough to tide me over until dinner time. Um, I may like a little noodle in my soup!
But I actually got hungry around 3:45. I finally found the pumpkin Chobani, it was on sale too for .89 cents each, but I only bought one in case I didn’t like it.
Holy balls, this was delicious! It kind of tasted like a pumpkin pudding, if that makes any sense. I could detect cinnamon and nutmeg. I need to run back to the store and scoop the rest up!
I had all the fixings leftover from my Reuben pizza I made over the weekend. Oh, I just realized I put it on Facebook and Instagram (are you following me on Instagram? mybizzykitchen). This is a recipe contest so I can’t give out the recipe, but I made a Reuben pizza – I’ve made Reuben pizzas before using rye flour, but it didn’t have the best texture. Well, I hit this one out of the park – the contest states that you had to make your own dough and sauce for the recipe. Swear this tastes EXACTLY like a Reuben!
So when Tony wanted his burger with caprese salad, I knew I was going to have a Reuben burger. Tony’s plate:
And my burger. Three ounce beef, almost as much sauerkraut, an ounce of melted Swiss cheese, and my homemade thousand island dressing – I can only tell you that I used Chobani greek yogurt in the dressing. I had a leftover baked potato so I made fries out of it, and drizzled my fries with sriracha ketchup.
I ended up eating all of the burger, and half the fries. I was full and stopped myself from overeating – yeah! I cleaned up the kitchen and deemed the “kitchen closed for the night.”
Oh, and guess who got the battery on their fitbit replaced! I am back to all my fitbit friends! If you have a fitbit and want to be friends, email me at mybizzykitchen@gmail.com and I’ll send you an invite to be friends.
I swear I had over 10,000 steps by the time I got home – I even showed Tony, but for whatever reason, when I synced up, it said I only had 1187, which is probably what I walked last night – huh? Maybe because I hadn’t synched up in a while? Oh well, I know I did the steps, and that’s all that matters.
Alright – time to get stuff together. I actually have time to do Classical Stretch before I need to leave for work – go me! Make it a great day!
First of all, I had to buy one of those egg cookers on amazon!! I have seen you post so much about how much you like it, and I REALLY need to start eating better breakfasts in the morning. Done and done.
Second, I must find that Chobani flavor. I wish I could find it for the cheap!
I am sending you the biggest hug I can!!!!!! You have had SOOOO much to cope with, so please don`t beat yourself up! Life gets in the way of the best laid plans, and all we can do is own it, and move forward! Love to you and Tony!
Yes, yes, yes! to this post. I can totally relate and empathize with you on this! I spend so much time taking care of everyone else. At work, I have the lives of 30 people in my hands. At home, taking care of our family takes a lot of time, and a lot of that effort goes to MAK’s care. I am in grad school, which is something that I am doing for me but it just seems to pile up lately. Most of the time, I feel like I just have to “take care of” everyone else and I don’t ever take care of me! Doing this paleo challenge has been good, because I was quickly able to see that my mindset was all kinds of f*cked up. Over the past 5 years of this yoyo weight loss journey, I’ve learned that my weight management is almost solely dependent on my MINDSET. I can do all the workouts and healthy recipes in the world, but if I am stressed out or unmotivated in any way, all of the good stuff doesn’t matter.
And I don’t know how people can afford to go on vacation all the time, either! MAK and I just barely squeaked out our road trip to Florida for Christmas last year (and we weren’t even able to bring B2 with us). It was the first vacation we’d been on since we went to Kansas City for one of our “this is getting serious” dates. I am smart with my money and try to save as much as possible, but with our limited incomes and bad life juju, something always happens that depletes our savings in one fell swoop. It’s so frustrating sometimes, but then I remember that I have a roof over my head and food on my plate, and it isn’t so bad. 🙂
I hope your husband is doing okay Erin – keep me posted! With all that you have going on, I can see why at the end of the day there is no time left for you. I don’t have that excuse – yes, we’ve had doctor appointments and hospital stays this year, but that’s no excuse to eat a whole pizza by myself (um, I may have done that in January when Tony was in the hospital!)
I saw this quote on Pinterest – love it!
I know what you mean I have had the same during the Summer. Only you had a good reason for feeling that way with everything that was going on in your life. I had nothing and I still don’t know what happened, why I lost my mojo and for such a long time (at least 3 months). But I’m back in the game, just like you and we are going to do this. I’m already your Fitbit friend, going to taunt you instead of cheer you to get you to 10,000 steps every day.
I have stopped looking at other people long time ago. I appreciate my own life, wouldn’t have it any other way.
Ha – well I will taunt you right back Fran! We’ve got this!
Even strong people can’t (and shouldn’t) be strong all the time. You’ve been through a lot over the past months. I really admire how you’ve been able to keep going. Take care of yourself!!
Best,
Bonnie
Thanks Bonnie – I hope you are enjoying this awesome fall day today!
I’ve got the exercise thing going on, but my eating has been out of control. That is definitely a goal for me…clean up the diet! And I LOVE the Pumpkin Spice Chobani! (and the Chobani with steel cut oats…yum!)
I haven’t seen the one with steel cut oats yet though, on the look out for that one. With all the wonderful things you bake, it’s no wonder you get those extra licks and tastes in – I would too!
Go you!! You can get this balance thing figured out—but when you do, please give me pointers 😉
Seriously, I know that if anyone can do this, you can. You are constantly an inspiration to me.
You are too sweet Karli – I don’t know how you do all you do with all the traveling (although secretly I’d love your job – just don’t have the education to do it!) #gobeef!
Cut yourself some slack. It is totally okay to be jealous of other people’s vacations. I am too. I have friends going to Hawaii, Europe, New Zealand. We go camping for a weekend and call it good.
And you have such a good time camping too! 😀 Thanks Marcia
You do need to put yourself first. It’s easy to let ourselves slide for others – but it is so, so important to get our own needs met!
Go Biz!
Thanks Lori! Love how Radiance Manor is coming along! I am sure you’ll have it all unpacked in a couple weeks!
Biz, I have thought you are amazing from the time I started reading your blog. The amount you manage to pack into every day and the strength you show while doing everything always impresses me!
I like the start you are making back to working out – closing the kitchen at night is a great idea I should try.
Thanks Kim – and I am glad you are getting those moles checked out – better safe than sorry, right?!
Nice job getting back on track and smashing those two goals!
Thanks Court!
oh dear Biz, I haven’t mopped my kitchen floor in at least a year or maybe two!!! LOL. Just keep moving my friend!!
OMG, Jody – that’s too funny! Okay, I won’t feel so bad when I go two weeks 😀 Hugs!
I find that when I start feeling resentful, I need rest. I wish you could go on a lovely vacation. Your attitude is inspiring, but don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re amazing.
Aw, thanks Kira! 😀
Your post today really hit home, I have been having a self-imposed pity party and yesterday declared tat it has to come to a screeching halt. So like you I am pulling myself up by the boot straps and moving forward. Time to take control back of my life!! We can o this! “Success is a journey, not a destination”
Let’s pull these boots straps up Anne! 😀 Woop!
I love sauerkraut! Yum! I’m having major issues with portion control. I blame marathon training. But it’s really my fault. Nice job with getting back on track!
Thanks Amanda! Next year when we get together to run a race (when I am in shape to run!) we should find a nice German restaurant to go to!
Oh Biz….don’t beat yourself up. Life is so full of twists and turns. Sometimes it is easy to follow the straight and narrow and sometimes not so much. If we fall in a ditch, gotta’ just get up and brush ourselves off and get on with the show. Hopefully there won’t be someone near by who will kick you back in the ditch. People will have their opinions about you, but it does not mean they are right.
Don’t feel bad about not being able to take a vacation…..I think it is great that you and Tony can enjoy your back yard and grilling…to me that is a great vacation. Heck, the last time we went on vacation and actually went someplace was about 9 years ago. (others can….I can’t) It’s okay though, the older I get the more I have become a homebody and I just enjoy my home more.
I have been doing a smoothie every morning, have cut out the coffee, ride my stationary bike a few miles every day and walk the dog. Feeling much better. Just by doing a few small things, seems to make a big change in how I look at things too.
Keeping up with the “Jones” can wear me out at times. Just be who God created you to be and that is “Biz” 🙂
Aw, out of this whole comment Louise, I love the last sentence the best – hugs!! 😀
As always- your honesty is inspiring. You have been through a ton over the last year and I think its just awesome that you’re ready to put yourself back in a happier place (its deserved). Get back on it! If I lived nearby, I’d drag you to all my classes 🙂 Those fries look amazing. I need to run to the store and I think I’ll pick up some sweet potatoes 🙂
I would love to take one of your classes Erica – you’d whip me into shape in no time! 😀
Go Biz!!!!!!!!!! So, the truth is out, but guess what, you are NOT alone! I look at the other vacationers and feel the same way. It is a fact of life, some people just have the good luck, but if we can look at the things we are grateful for on a daily basis, we find that we are not at the bottom of the barrel. You are amazing Biz, don’t ever forget it!
Thanks Jan for this comment – I appreciate it! 😀
So I love what you said about how you think about eating junk food and exercise!
Most people think–I can just burn it off, no worries!
And that’s how they don’t lose weight….they complain they are exercising sooo much, but really, it’s all about what you eat–and you nailed it!!!
Love it!!
Thanks! Yep, food and working out have to go hand in hand sadly! 😀 You can’t out exercise a shitty diet.
Just wondering if you have done a diet bet? I just finished one today- you have to lose 4% of your weight in 30 days to win. It definitely makes me pay attention to what I am eating over the month 🙂
Yep, I did a diet bet last year when I lost weight – that’s not a bad idea – maybe I can scrape up the money to join one – I was successful at the two I did last summer. Made me not drink so much wine – ha!
http://biz319.wordpress.com/2013/06/08/first-wi-with-dietbet/
I totally get where you’re coming from after the last year I’ve had. I get lazy and turn to food without even realizing it. I don’t blame me though, I blame the stress. 😛 Only recently have I tried to make changes for the better and get my stress under control which usually helps with everything else – that and sleep (which I get very little of with an almost 1 year old :). And your blog truly helps and inspires me! I so appreciate everything you share. So now we know, Biz is human too. Good for you for keeping positive and taking steps in the “right” direction! Love the “one day at a time” motto, it’s all we can do. Hope you have a great day! 🙂
It’s much easier to be lazy too, isn’t it?! But I don’t have the excuse of having an almost one year old – I can’t believe he’s one already! Yep, I am human too – I try to keep my blog my happy place, just need to bring it to my personal life, ya know! Smiling today and just about to head outside for a walk!
It is incredibly hard to remain consistent when your life is topsy-turvy and incredibly busy. But you are such an inspiration because you CATCH yourself slipping and re-direct. That’s awesome.
Thanks Dana – I appreciate it! 😀
That pizza looks amazing – I LOVE reubens but can’t remember the last time I had one!
And $.89 for Chobani is ridic – I would have bought 20 for that price!!!!!!
That same store is having a giant meat sale on Friday – hopefully they’ll still be on sale – the best price I’ve ever gotten was 10/$10!
I am very picky about my Reuben sandwiches, the corn beef has to be super tender and not tough. Have you been to Slyman’s in Cleveland? Check out their sandwiches!!
Go Biz! You will feel so much better with everything under control! 🙂
I already do Shelley, and it’s only Day 3!
It is SOfreakinghard to get back in the game once the bad habits creep back in, but I’m so proud of you for making the effort to be your best self! Also, I would totally pick your dinner plate over Tony’s 😉 Keep us updated on the pizza results!!
Thanks Lauren – I appreciate it! And let me know about the Pillsbury contest – I’ll have my blog friends/readers vote for you! 😀
You have gone through so much this year, your feelings are completely valid. Yet your positivity and encouragement of others is something to aspire to!
And reuben burgers????????? Come to mama.
Thanks Courtney! My positive attitude is back in full force 😀 Loved seeing L on his new motorcycle!
Bullets today!
~ I totally agree, Biz, that when we let one thing slide, it seems that everything else goes with it. As you know, I’m in that boat right now, too, and it’s time to reel things in. (Except yours are real reasons and my (I know, poor me!) issue is just catching up and getting my act together!)
~ You’ve had a lot going on as of late, so cut yourself some slack. You are an amazing person!
~ What? A Reuben Burger? Why didn’t I think of that? I mean, even sans bun, I *know* my husband will adore me when I surprise him with that. Thank you!
~ Lastly, I know how much an injury can feel debilitating. I tend to give up when I don’t know what to do. I think it’s great that you walked. It’s something and a start. I need to do the same. 🙂
Happy Tuesday!
Carrie, you know I love your bullet point comments! I am sure you’ll get back in the routine – after a trip to Australia I would think it would be hard to get back to real life!