Today would have been my Dad’d 80th birthday.  Seems surreal.  He died 20 years ago, one month shy of his 60th birthday.  Who knew when I posted Happy 70th Birthday Dad! that I’d still be here – 10 years later!

In case you were wondering, he told me I was his favorite, and that Hannah was his favorite grandchild.  It’s a secret I’ve kept to myself all these years. 😀  But seriously, while I never imagined living with my parents for the first five years of Hannah’s life, it also happened to be the last five years of my Dad’s life.  Hannah being the oldest grandchild is really the only one who has solid memories of him because we lived with them.

That picture below still is one of my favorites.  My Dad napped a lot as he got sicker, and Hannah would grab her pillow and stinky blanket and crawl up on his lay-z-boy chair long after she was too tall to do so.

I always wish the rest of the grandkids would have known Poppy more.  So if your Dad happens to be alive, give him an extra hug for me – tell him Biz made you do it! 😀


My eats were basically identical to yesterday’s – pumpkin zucchini pancakes with apple pie filling, black bean soup for lunch.  Although I had to laugh at my self last night.  I usually add 1/4 cup of corn meal to my black bean soup to thicken it up.  As I was preparing dinner last night, I realized I added 1/4 cup of grits!!  Still tasted good 😀

I really had no idea how dinner was going to turn out, because I just defrosted a filet mignon.  When I got home I realized I still had some of that giant .75 cent zucchini in the fridge, I had one small potato, and mushrooms.  I decided to make zucchini and potato pancakes over seared filet mignon with a mushroom pan sauce.  

For my pan sauce, I just mixed one cup of chicken broth (I was out of beef broth) 1 teaspoon of A-1 steak sauce, 1 teaspoon horseradish mustard, and 1 teaspoon of corn starch and mixed that all together.  After Pam frying the mushrooms for about 3-4 minutes, I just added the liquid and cooked it over medium heat for 5 minutes, until it got nice and thick.  I set it aside.

For the zucchini/potato pancakes:  1 cup shredded zucchini (squeezed dry), 2 ounces of shredded potato, 1 egg and 1 tablespoon of flour.   You can add whatever seasoning you want – I added 1/2 teaspoon of creole seasoning with salt and pepper.  This is going to be a wet batter, so think savory pancakes.  I melted a half a teaspoon of butter for the first fry – I cooked for 3 minutes with the lid on, then melted the second teaspoon of butter, flipped and cooked with a lid on for 3 more minutes.

I cooked the filet mignon over medium high heat for 4 minutes a side.  When I first cut into it, I was like “fuck, I overcooked it!” but that was just the end piece that was on the medium side.  The middle was perfect medium rare.

To plate:  pancake on the bottom, topped with one ounce of beef each, with a drizzle of the mushroom pan sauce and I literally had about 1/2 cup of baby spinach that needed to be used up, so I did a quick saute on high heat for 1 minute, and added that to the plate.  Finished with fresh chopped parsley, and dinner was served.

I think I said in my Instastory that this was 6 points, but forgot to add in the butter I pan “fried” the pancakes, so dinner was 8 points.  It came in at 501 calories, 30 carbs, 26 fat, and 35 protein.

I finished my day at 1,552 calories, or 29 points.  That’s the most calories I’ve had this week.  But I also walked 17,622 steps yesterday.  


On my solo walk I started listening to Rachel Hollis’ podcast.  I have to tell you, I bought the book Girl Go Wash Your Face, but I literally fall asleep trying to read it.  So if you want a copy, let me know  and I’ll mail it to you. 

I didn’t realize until nearly the end of the podcast that I was actually listening to a podcast from Decemer 2017.  But she was talking about the last 90 days of the year.  Or what my brother likes to call “put the feed bag on until January 1!” 

But part of the podcast was talking about how you could go into the last 90 days of the year with as much intention as you did the first 90 days of the year.  How many years have I started the year off with a bang, only to keep walking the hamster wheel and gain and lose the same 5 pounds all year.

I lost 7 pounds in September, which is more that I lost the previous 8 months.  Could it be because I gave up alcohol for September?  Maybe.  I know if I were to pour a glass of wine I’d think “an ounce of cashews would go great with this pinot grigio!”  But I’ve also started counting calories with the points, and it’s just given me a freedom from my food issues – there is no such thing as good or bad food, or falling off the wagon.  If I want something (like 15 gummies, which is one ounce and 5 points and 130 calories) I eat them, track, and move on.  That doesn’t open the flood gates of “well, I ate that, so I may as well give up and try again next week!”

I still am a people pleaser and caregiver by nature.  I can’t help it.  But one of the things Rachel said was that if you promised a friend to do something, and you didn’t show up and gave some lame excuse like you got tied up because a t.v. show came on – you most likely wouldn’t do that – because you value that person’s time and friendship.

So why, as women, do we constantly make promises to ourselves, and break them for one reason or another and don’t make ourselves accountable to the promises we’ve made.  “If you make and break promises, they aren’t really promises, it’s only talking.”


It reminds me of my Dad – not so much promises, but he had so many dreams and ideas, but if he got one hint of rejection or failure, he would just give up.  He wrote a comic strip called Chef Charlie – I am sure I’ve got it somewhere, but it was so funny!   He sent like a months worth of the comic strip to a newspaper in Florida – why Florida, I’ll never know.  It was a smaller newspaper, so maybe he thought he had a chance of getting in?  In any event, he shipped off his strips, and some time later, he got a nice letter back, rejecting the strip because they didn’t have space in their paper at the time.  It didn’t say it sucked, or anything like that, it was just a “no thank you at this time.”

I tried to convince my Dad to submit it somewhere else, but he put them all in a giant envelope, sealed it, and that was that.

So I am using the spirit of my Dad and my new found success with the scale, to not give up on myself.  You know why?

Because I am worth it.