Well hello! How have you guys been? It was nice to take a break from social media – other than posting some stuff on my Instastories, I tried to stay off my phone as much as possible. Can’t wait to catch up and see what you guys are up to!
This was a very introspective vacation for me. I had time to myself early in the morning on the dock, just letting the breeze blow over my face and watch the occasional fish jump out of the water. Actually stop and just be in the moment, and it was glorious.
One thing I always forget about my family is how gossipy we are. And I say we because I found myself getting caught up in it.
If you watched my Instastory, it’s become apparent that a lot of women in my family are obsessed with weight, how big some people got and how slim some people got. Last year at this time I had already lost 20 pounds, but over the course of the next 11 months, I gained it all back.
It made me wonder who was talking about me when I walked out of the room – I am positive it was a topic of conversation at some point in time “did you see that Biz is really fat again?!”
That being said, I’ve just been going through the motions with Weight Watchers this year for some reason. And I’ve decided to change that – for no one else but myself.
Tony was my biggest cheerleader, and he loved me the same at 135 to 185 and every pound in between. Every time I got “back on” he always told me that if I wanted to lose weight, it was because I wanted to – he thought I was beautiful every single day – and told me that every day we were together – how lucky was I to have such support in my life? I miss him so much.
It takes consistency, not perfection, to succeed at Weight Watchers and I am ready to be the CEO of my journey. Will it still make me sad that when I leave for work and realize it doesn’t really matter if I make the early train or the late train, because there isn’t anyone waiting for me to come home – yep. It’s common for my roommates to eat in their room and watch their program and I eat by myself at the dining room table. But I have to realize at some point, even they won’t be there, so I need to figure out this single life I am in, embrace it and get back to a point where I love myself so that maybe love can find me again.
I took this photo on the plane ride last night – I love the different colors of the sky and the clouds below. This is my new quote that I will reference if I ever start slipping down the lonely slope – why stay in the same place, when I can fly?
Make it a great day friends! Back to regular posting tomorrow. Hugs and Love xoxoxo