Well hello! How have you guys been? It was nice to take a break from social media – other than posting some stuff on my Instastories, I tried to stay off my phone as much as possible. Can’t wait to catch up and see what you guys are up to!
This was a very introspective vacation for me. I had time to myself early in the morning on the dock, just letting the breeze blow over my face and watch the occasional fish jump out of the water. Actually stop and just be in the moment, and it was glorious.
One thing I always forget about my family is how gossipy we are. And I say we because I found myself getting caught up in it.
If you watched my Instastory, it’s become apparent that a lot of women in my family are obsessed with weight, how big some people got and how slim some people got. Last year at this time I had already lost 20 pounds, but over the course of the next 11 months, I gained it all back.
It made me wonder who was talking about me when I walked out of the room – I am positive it was a topic of conversation at some point in time “did you see that Biz is really fat again?!”
That being said, I’ve just been going through the motions with Weight Watchers this year for some reason. And I’ve decided to change that – for no one else but myself.
Tony was my biggest cheerleader, and he loved me the same at 135 to 185 and every pound in between. Every time I got “back on” he always told me that if I wanted to lose weight, it was because I wanted to – he thought I was beautiful every single day – and told me that every day we were together – how lucky was I to have such support in my life? I miss him so much.
It takes consistency, not perfection, to succeed at Weight Watchers and I am ready to be the CEO of my journey. Will it still make me sad that when I leave for work and realize it doesn’t really matter if I make the early train or the late train, because there isn’t anyone waiting for me to come home – yep. It’s common for my roommates to eat in their room and watch their program and I eat by myself at the dining room table. But I have to realize at some point, even they won’t be there, so I need to figure out this single life I am in, embrace it and get back to a point where I love myself so that maybe love can find me again.
I took this photo on the plane ride last night – I love the different colors of the sky and the clouds below. This is my new quote that I will reference if I ever start slipping down the lonely slope – why stay in the same place, when I can fly?
Make it a great day friends! Back to regular posting tomorrow. Hugs and Love xoxoxo
1 didn’t hear anyone mention anything about you that was not nice. Caryl looks fantastic. I also notice some ups and downs. Loved being with all. Thanks for being there and all your hugs. Love you,
Glad you had a good break and a safe return.
Thanks Charlie – missed you though!!
Hugs my friend. I cannot imagine how much you miss Tony’s love and support but hopefully you can feel the love from all of us. Take a long look in the mirror past the weight and see the beautiful, talented, wickedly funny lady that all of us love and missed the last few days. Continue to have faith that one day there will be room in your heart to truly love yourself and even someone else if they are worthy of you. And until that day you can always do what I do. Pull the covers over your head at night content in the knowledge that a new day will break in the morning with unlimited potential. Make the most of each one right ? xxooxx
Thanks Kris! I love that you’ve been following along this journey with me – hugs!
It is almost as if you were living the eat, pray, love book. So glad you had some down time. Social media does really take a drain on everyone in society. Trust me, I am not faulting it at all and many people make a living with it. Just sometimes… to turn it all off can be glorious. Just remember to trust yourself, take your time and love yourself! It is okay to put yourself first. ((Hugs)).
Thanks for your continued support Kym – it means more than you’ll ever know 😀 Hugs back!
Hi! I love that you wrote – “I need to figure out this single life I am in, embrace it and get back to a point where I love myself so that maybe love can find me again.” SO TRUE for so many people and definitely true for me. Glad you got to recharge while here in VA.
Thanks Michelle – I do believe that to be true. All our family lives in Virginia so it’s like going home 😀
Hi Biz! I’m so glad that you had a fun vacation and got to unwind! I’m glad to see you back! You seem to have a bubbly personality. I don’t think you will have any problem finding love again. You just need to build up your confidence and things will get better for you. Just take one step at a time. I wish you all the luck to succeed in the near future!
Thanks J! I appreciate it – I know I’ll get there in due time 😀
Hi Biz! Have you ever heard of Girl, Wash Your Face? It’s book, Kindle and Audiobook. Some other people I follow have said really great things about this book. I just started chapter 1.
“Rachel Hollis speaks with the insight and kindness of a BFF, helping women unpack the limiting mind-sets that destroy their self-confidence and keep them from moving forward.”
I bought it to bring on vacation but forgot it! I plan to start reading it soon though!!
Good to see you back! Glad your vacation was a good one.
It’s not just your family that gossips about peoples weight sadly mine does too. I would shrug it off and not let it bother me.
Love the quote you put up about flying. Some day maybe soon you will be ready to start dating again until then just enjoy being you!
Thanks Susan!!
I’m glad you had a nice trip and had some moments to yourself. Water can definitely bring us to a calm place. Maybe this trip is what you needed to have come to your realizations. I know it must be hard, missing Tony. You know he’s watching you and is still your cheerleader. I know you don’t know me, but I’m with you all the way. Cheering you on. Hey, we all need the cheering. God knows I need it. LOL
Very well put, Biz! You’re so inspirational to me! ❤️ Glad you’re back!!