At approximately 5:55 am yesterday, a man parked his car and walked onto the train tracks and stood until a speeding commuter train killed him.
Obviously the commute to work was interesting. Thanks to an Instagram story my friend Tia alerted me. I drove two train stations and waited until the trains started running.
I got to my desk at 10:30. So many people were complaining, talking about missing meetings and what an “inconvenience” the delay was, all I kept thinking is that someone isn’t going home to his family ever again. I am sure a month from now no one will remember being late for work.
I’ve talked about it before but a friend of mine from college committed suicide.
We had reconnected in our early 30s and he told me he was a personal assistant for a high net worth family in New York and how he maintained the staff and several homes, even one in Italy!
He talked about flying on personal jets, and what a jet setting life it was even while being a busy life.
His family lived down state and he called to tell me he was coming up to Chicago for the night and wanted to get together for dinner. I jumped at the chance.
He told me he would call when he got close to figure out where to meet, but I never got that call. Phone calls went unreturned and I just couldn’t figure it out.
Had I said something to make him upset? Sadly we found out months later that on the day he was going to meet me, he got half way and hung himself.
When I finally talked to his parents, I told them how happy he sounded about his job, and the lifestyle that went along with it, and they told me that none of that was true. He’d been living with his parents for years and hadn’t had a job in a long time either.
When stuff like this happens, it hits me like a lightning bolt – LIVE!
Life is so short, and you have to make the life you want happen, not sit and wait for it to come to you.
Working on my goals for April – I think it’s going to be a great month!
Question of the Day: Have you been affected by suicide?
Happy Wednesday my friends – make it a great day! 💕🙌🏻
My friend Pete took his life when we were young (20s) nobody understood it. He was the life of the party, the happiest guy! Always laughing and joking. My cousin Melissa was dating him, she was as shocked as all of us. He is still very much a part of our life.
One of my very best friends took her son life in 2010. It is something I think about almost every day. She was Greek and we always had so much fun celebrating Greek Easter. Greek Easter is this coming Sunday, I hope she’s celebrating somewhere.
In 2013 I lost my cousin to suicide. My uncle was so wrecked he passed away a few short weeks later. I just think it was too much for him.
I won’t ever really understand it, but I know there is so much more to it than just a selfish person. Everyone I lost was caring and kind and beautiful.
Sorry for your loss, and for that terrible experience on the Metra xo
Oops, I meant that Christine took her OWN life.
I forgot to say one thing!!! We went to the inquest, (a court process where they process unnatural deaths,) where the conductor of the train, had to talk, as a witness to my sister’s death. We went to assure him that we knew he did everything he could to stop, and to help alleviate any pain or grief he might have suffered. I have read somewhere that the toll this takes on the train conductors is pretty severe. I can’t imagine! We wanted him to know that we didn’t blame him.
I think about what the train conductor must think when he knows there is no way in can slow down in time – I am glad you were able to at least give him some peace.
Hi Biz,
My sister died this exact same way, in 1997. Over the years, I have read many books about depression and suicide. Many choose this method because of it’s success rate. That was true for my sister. I am so sad that she believed she could not be cured of bipolar, and that she did not want her fiancee or us, to have to keep picking up her pieces, every time she had a depressive episode. She did not want a life as a wife and mother where she would keep letting people down. Those were her words. Every single time I hear about a suicide, I flash back to that time for her, and for us. We never know what is going on with others – so to be as loving, kind, patient and judgement free, is the way I have decided to live. <3 Thank you for being such a positive light in this world!!!
Ellen! So sorry for this late response, I was having computer troubles all weekend.
I had no idea about your sister – hugs my friend!
Yes , my Mother committed suicide when my first child was 1 month old . And I am old now and I still don’t understand what happened . It still hurts. Love you Biz , you are an inspiration even to this old woman , never change.
Sending hugs your way Georgette – I think we talked about this before with one of the other posts about train accidents.
Thanks for being such a great cheerleader for me!!
from britern3 bizi have been an RN for 22 years & have seen alot of bad things but a 17 year old boy i can never forget-he tried to eat a shotgun and lost. lost in the way his face was gone including his eyes but his mind was completely intact. still think about him & wonder how he is_i can literally see him forever as i was just a few years older than him then-he must be 35+ now… as a person who struggles with mental illness everyday i can see how someone would see suicide as the ultimate solution. as that same person i would literally throw up if that was my train & be unwell the rest of the day & be scared to ride the train again. rest in peace train person may you find the comfort in death you couldn’t find in life & if you see me in the afterlife say hi- i’ll be the fat white girl taking care of everyone with blankets.a good blanket can fix alot
Oh my goodness – that is quite a story – can’t believe he survived! Sending hugs your way – a good hug and a good blanket can fix a lot. 😀
Yes. A good friend who happened to be married to my best friend committed suicide when he couldn’t face what was happening to his body after being diagnosed with ALS – Lou Gehrig’s Disease. Several friends told me that it was courageous and loving not to burden his wife with his care. To this day I still feel sad for all that he lost and all of us lost. All of the possible interactions just gone.
Wow, I can’t imagine. Tony actually told me if he ever got to the point where he physically couldn’t handle his illness, that it was okay if I “let him go.” I of course told him I could never do that. It’s weird when I think back to the end of his life – the day before Thanksgiving we were talking, the doctors said that they couldn’t do anything else, and the next day he just slept. . . and never woke up until he passed away days later.
I did tell him that it was okay to let go – and tears streamed down his face, so I knew he heard me.
No one in my family, but a friend of ours committed suicide at his job( a hospital). His husband could not find him( he was off, he went there to do the deed) so they called us. Julie ended up calling the police station near to the hospital and they told her. They asked her to make the notification because we were friends. I’ll never forget us driving over there and standing there while J told him that his husband committed suicide. Horrible. We also live very close to the train tracks and I’ve heard trains slam on their brakes. Julie’s new office is actually in Union Station in LA and she’s been to a few train suicides. Its so sad.
I can’t imagine all the things that J has seen in her career – she’s a strong woman!!
I think none of us can ever understand the pain of a person who takes their own life and yes I have experienced it in my family. Like you I try to stay present in the moment and live. Equally important I try to spread some “sunshine and good karma” into the world as you never know the difficulties others face every day. Hugs and prayers for all those struggling with mental illness that they will receive the help they need to heal.
I do the same thing too Kris – pay for someones parking spot at the kiosk, or even just a smile – you never know how that can pick someone up. 😀
Oh Biz. What a sad story. Both of them.
One of my HS classmates (well, I think he’s a year or two older than me), just committed suicide a few weeks ago. Has small children.
Oh my goodness – so sad! My sister in laws father committed suicide when she was young – I think that’s something you never quite get over even though she’s 60 years old now.
Happy to help, dear. I know those suicides are all too common on our train line. I don’t wish any of it on anyone. I have not personally been affected by suicide, but I can only imagine the range of emotions that go through those closest to that person. I’m so sorry it has affected you. Mental illness as a valid and recognizable disease still has a long way to go for the proper treatment and therapy to become more mainstream.
I will never understand how people could wish their life away – I guess they feel like there is no way out – but like said above, its a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Every time you post about one of the train deaths my stomach aches in such a way as it hits so close to home in so many ways. It is funny because I don’t know them but… Yes, we all need to treasure each and every moment as we never know when the moments will be taken away. Okay, now I need to go look at some photos of baby animals to snap me out of this funk. Have a great day and cherish every second!
It is just a reminder to not let “life” get in the way of living. Hugs!
My cousin was 27 years old when she took her life. She was her parents only child. Incredibly sad.
OMG, that is horrible. I can’t even imagine.
Luckily I have not known anyone personally that has taken their own life. But like you, when a suicide happens it hits me, and I wonder how much pain someone must be in to think that killing their self is the only solution. I can sorta understand it in the case of people that are terminal and in excruciating physical pain.
It breaks my heart that some people are that desperate. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I’ve watched documentaries about people who are just in so much pain they can’t wait to end their life – so sad.
Yes, my Aunt Daphne she was dying from cancer in the late 70’s and couldn’t take pain, my sister Lisa 10 yrs ago and her boyfriend Neil who died 6 months after Lisa. I agree with you live life to the best of your ability and please talk to someone when things are difficult. The family you leave behind never truly heals.
Wow Christina – I am so sorry for all your losses! I agree, I think people think everyone would be better off without them around, but the opposite is usually true. Hugs!!