My walk yesterday morning was gorgeous – it was already 73 degrees, but there was a slight breeze and I managed to squeeze in a 30 minute walk before work.  Do you guys know the app Spotify?  My friend Natalie (Hi Nat!) made a play list for our 101 Days of Summer Challengers, but here’s the thing.  I thought Spotify was an app to tell you the name and artist of a song, say if you were at Starbucks, or the grocery store – you could press the app and it will tell you the name and artist and where to buy it on iTunes.  (There is an app like that, but it’s called Shazam).  Anywho, Spotify basically has EVERY SONG THAT WAS EVER made on you can create your own playlists, find playlists that Spotify has put together.  Yesterday I was listening to AM WORKOUT thinking it would have an upbeat tempo.  Jenn M., as soon as Thrift Shop came on I thought of you!

PicMonkey Collage AM walk

By the time I got back home I already logged over 3000 steps – nice!

I finally got my Flatout panini jones on, and actually remembered to bring the eggs this time!  Guys – this is an amazing breakfast sammie.  It was so good I’ll probably have the same thing for breakfast today.  I used my egg cooker to cook the egg whites and spinach together, then just added the ham and cheese to that and put it in my panini maker at work.  Not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but I don’t use butter when making panini’s – I have a can of butter flavored Pam in my office and just spray the top and bottom of the panini machine, nothing sticks, I get a nice butter flavor without the extra calories and the bread is nice and crunchy.

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My co-worker and I managed just 40 minutes of walking yesterday.  It worked out fine because she still needed the 20 minutes to pick up lunch, but not sure we could have made it our full 3 miles because it was ballers hot.  But that’s the motto, right ladies?!  #wycwyc – it all adds up!

PicMonkey Collage - walk

Lunch was more lasagna soup, which I may be boring, but I’ll probably have that again today too.  It’s just so good and it doesn’t make sense to make something different before finishing the the last of it up. I do like the medium shells in this version though.  Tammy, I hope yours turned out good!  It’s her first batch and I warned her it will soon become her favorite soup.

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I picked up an afternoon snack at Hannah’s work yesterday morning.  I love biscotti, and this one only had 150 calories and it was delicious with my afternoon coffee.  I need to make some at home soon.

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So I told you about my water app yesterday.  I have a water bottle at work that is 24 ounces, so I marked off 8 ounce notches so I know when to tap my glass on the app.  I know I am a dork, but I am all about the apps!

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And in case you are wondering, that is a snowman bowl holding my binder clips and paper clips! Open-mouthed smile

I was meeting my Mom, Hannah and Jacob out to dinner last night and we chose Big Bowl in Schaumburg.  It’s kind of a half way point between our houses and it’s not too far from my work.  We started out with the spicy green beans, which we asked to be mild because of Mom and Hannah, but they were still to spicy for them.  We are going to try to recreate them at home tonight.  We also each had a chicken satay stick and then we built our own bowls.

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The green beans and chicken were good, but the panang curry sauce I picked wasn’t not as flavorful, and Hannah and I both agreed that Wok N Fire’s food was WAY better.  Next time we’ll go there!  And after dinner we walked around and ended up at Starbucks (you guys, Hannah and Jacob hadn’t been there in two days – they were going through withdrawal!) and I ended up getting the 120 calorie mini frap for 120 calories – perfect!

So the night before last I had this dream.  Pretty sure that’s why I drank cocktails at night so I don’t dream because since I haven’t had any wine I’ve had the strangest dreams and remember every detail.  In this dream someone came to me and told me it was a mistake and that Tony was still alive in the hospital.  I jumped up and said “What?!!”  When I got there, he was half the size he was when he died, but he had his arms stretched out to me and asked me “why did it take you so long to get to me?”  He had tears running down his face and I kept trying to tell him that I didn’t know he was there.  I don’t know if it’s my subconscious guilt coming through – parts of me wished I had spent every single second with him when he was in the hospital the last three weeks, but seriously, I never thought he was going to die.  It never even crossed my mind – we always got through all these things.

In particular was 12 days before he died.  He’d just been moved to University of Illinois.  I had been there late that Friday night before and I needed some kitchen therapy.  So that Saturday morning, knowing that I was going to be spending the majority of the weekend at the hospital, I got up and started making naan bread.  Just working with the dough, rolling it out, pan frying each piece, it was my way of destressing.  It was about 10:00 when I was just leaving to go to the hospital and Tony called and wondered why I wasn’t there and was so upset that I hadn’t left the house yet – it was still a good hour drive. 

It’s weird because I feel like I am having more grief and sorrow now than when he just died because I seriously think the first few months I was in shock – going through the motions.  It feels like the clouds are dissipating and I have to deal with the fact that he’s actually gone.

So last night was good for my soul.  We tried to take a bunch of pictures outside of Starbucks and we laughed our asses off and it felt . . . good.  Laughter really is the best therapy!

PicMonkey Collage laugh 

Thanks Mom, Hannah and Jacob for that laughter therapy session.  It was greatly appreciated!   So my only advice today is if you have your spouse or significant other still with you – if you were holding a grudge about something they did, or whatever, remember they are still here.  And hug them and kiss them as much as you can.

Make it a great day!  Off to get my steps in Open-mouthed smile