I don’t really know what’s it’s like to not have control. Control of what you eat, when you eat, what pills to take, what syringe is going to be coming at you to suck out blood for more tests. Dialysis nurses who have to prep the machine and are Chatty Cathy’s when all you want to do is sleep or watch t.v. People coming into your room, putting on gloves and saying loudly “I am just here to make sure that you have wiped your ass correctly if you had a bowel movement” and without a second thought, will pull your gown up and start being in places that you really don’t want them to be. Okay, so the techs really didn’t say the word “ass” but you all know that I have the mouth of a truck driver, so I threw that in there for good measure.
He’s tired. He feels …done. There is still no room at the Inn for Tony to transfer to the next hospital. We are basically in limbo land and it’s getting old for him. I had a thought though. I brought his laptop to the hospital, but it was just too big and bulky. I thought I’d buy him a tablet – it would be light weight, and he would have access to youtube (loves t.v. bloopers!), Facebook and Netflix! I broached the subject with him the night before last and he thought it would be a good idea.
I went to Best Buy, bought a Galaxy tablet, and brought it back to work and charged it up. Tony is a HUGE John Wayne movie lover. So I sent him a text in the morning, nothing more than “I love you!” with lots of emoticons that probably bugged the shit out of him, but hey, it’s for love! I texted him that I was leaving the office and I’d be on my cell phone if he needed me. Then I texted him later in the afternoon with a picture of the John Wayne movie that was playing on Netflix when I logged into our account on the tablet.
When I got to the hospital after worked he said “how many times in a day can you bug me?!” I guess I feel guilty for not being there with him during the day and just a few texts during the day I thought would let him know I am thinking about him. Apparently that’s too much, because he feels like he has to answer them, which I am not expecting an answer, and he doesn’t have the strength to do it. Okay, note to self – think of Tony throughout the day, just don’t text him. Well, after showing him the tablet, turns out he isn’t a fan. I may just keep it for myself and tell him that’s all I want for Christmas, because just playing around with it at work while it was charging, I thought it was pretty cool.
So I didn’t get home from the hospital until 9:45. I had to run a load of laundry, downloaded my pics for the day, that doesn’t leave much time for activities as I am used to, so I give you the rest of the day in a picmonkey collage!
From the snowman coffee cup going clockwise: 1. my mid-morning pick me up in my new snowman mug that I am totally loving. My almond joy café mocha coffee – one package of diet Swiss miss cocoa mix, coffee, one tablespoon almond joy coffee creamer, two tablespoons of canned whip cream – it comes in a respectable 90 calories. 2. I just got my 500th follower on Instagram! 3 and 4 – my steps for the last two days without going to the gym – not bad! 5. the generous gift card from blog reader Moe – I went to log it onto my Starbucks app to add the gift card to it and noticed today that it was a snowman #love 6. my pretzel bun ham and swiss panini – I ended up only eating half of it because it was so filling, but you bet your ass I ate all the salt and pepper potato chips 7. more leftover chili for dinner, heated up in the hospital cafeteria microwave, and lastly 8. – another Turano bread breakfast panini – this time with cooked egg whites, spicy breakfast sausage, spinach and cheese – hey, if it isn’t broke, why fix it?!
And with that, I am on my way to my morning visit to my love. I really would trade places with him if I could.