I promise this will be the last post about our dog, but Tony wanted to write one last farewell. From Tony:
My Buddy
I think everything in life happens for a reason. Biz and I met, we married and moved to where we live now. On our trips to town we often drove by a farm. This farm had a huge sign, and on this sign we assumed was the farmers name in huge letters “Elmer Dorn”. As we drove by this sign, I would always say “if we ever get a dog that will be his name”. Sure enough some time passed and I saw an ad for a Lab rescue place called LEARN. We contacted them and they had an adoptable dog. His name was Slim. After home visits and interviews they said we could adopt Slim. I drove to where Slim was living and brought him home. On the way I went to pick up my Son Joey. As Joey got in the car Slim jumped onto Joeys lap, and thus their friendship began. We renamed Slim. We named him ED. It was Elmer Dorn’s initials.
Ed was my buddy. He was always at the door, his huge tail smacking into everything. He was always so excited to see us. He was at his best the happiest dog I have ever known. I used to take him to a park that had a huge unmowed field. He would bound out of the car and jump into the weeds. He enjoyed that time the most of all. Labs need to run and he loved it. Like most people and animals he had some idiosyncrasies. He hated when Biz and I kissed and hugged. He hated seafood. He loved grapes and most veggies. He hated kids. I know that seems weird. For the friendliest dog to hate kids never made sense to us. We always assumed before he came into our lives he was tortured by a kid. If anyone wore a blanket on their back and walked by Ed he would attack and hump that person into submission. It was always hilarious.
I will spend the rest of my life wondering if putting Ed down was the right thing to do. Logic tells me it was the only thing to do. My thoughts go to looking at his trusting face, knowing I was killing my friend. “If only’s” seem to be my problem. If only we waited, if only he didn’t this or that.
I can honestly say I loved Ed. I have had some great dogs in my life. My childhood dog was Ginger. She was a mixed breed, and also had a heart of gold. I found Ginger having a seizure and rushed her to the vet. She never came home. I next had Coco. Coco was a huge Chocolate Lab. I lost Coco when my ex and I separated. Ed was the first time I have ever been responsible for the death of my dog. It needed to happen, but that does not take my guilt away.
I’m not sure if I want another Dog. This hurts way too much. Hopefully time heals all wounds, but this one is leaving a mark.
Good Bye Eddie, I will miss you.
Yesterday when I got up, once I start making noise that usually woke Eddie up and he would come out of the bedroom. It was so weird for that not to happen, or for him to race to the refrigerator whenever I opened it in the hopes of getting a treat.
So remember the mini yogurt quiches I made earlier in the week? I ended up only baking two of them and had half the dough left, and made another two yesterday for breakfast for me and my boss. The results were just as delicious. Since this dough is so quick to put together, I think I’ll make it at least once a week and then bake it off in the morning as needed.
With my head in a fog, I did something I normally don’t do. I gave myself the exact amount of insulin I would need for my breakfast, so that when I went to test it before working out, it was only 95. Which is perfect, but I needed it to be in the 200’s before working out. So I went to the store to pick up groceries for my Souper Friday today –on the menu is Winter Minestrone Soup with rosemary artisan bread. The soup recipe will be posted tomorrow.
Lunch was leftover pork stew and some toast. My boss declared this “delicious!” and didn’t even realize that it was pork and not beef!
Well Mother Nature is getting back at us for our lack of snow this year. Why she chose to dump it on us in February, when everyone is quite done with winter, is beyond me. At lunch it was just rain, but by 2:00, big fat flakes were falling from the sky. I managed to leave at 4:50. I have a 15 mile commute. Guess what time I got home?
7:45!
Yep, it took me nearly 3 hours to drive home last night. And here’s a tip I need to share. Always wipe off the top of your car of snow, not just the windows. I was on a hilly road when all of a sudden all the snow from the roof covered my windshield and the wipers weren’t strong enough to wipe it away. Luckily we were stopped, so I jumped out quickly and used my arm to get the snow off before the motor burned out on the wipers – whew!
So by the time I changed clothes, it was after 8 and I had no desire to fix anything for dinner. So Jack in the Box Tacos came to the rescue. I think the original recipe I had made at least 16 tacos.
I was so hungry and made three tacos. I literally said to myself “I’ll just give Eddie what i won’t eat.” I ended up eating 2 1/2 of them.
So Thursday night is garbage night, and I had a hell of a time getting our cans to the curb. Look at all the snow!
And it’s the wet “heart attack” snow. It stuck to every branch like glue.
Alright, I have to finish putting my lunch together – since I got home late last night there wasn’t time for me to make the dough, have time for it to rise and bake it, so I let the dough sit overnight and it’s just about to come out of the oven this morning.
We don’t have any plans this weekend, and I am okay with that. I think just a weekend of relaxing is just what Tony and I need after this week. And I may have to put Eddie’s toys away, they are tough to look at.
Anyone have fun plans this weekend? Make it a great day!
Tony and Vat, so so sorry for the loss of beautiful Ed. (BTW, Ed is a GREAT dog name!) I can absolutely relate to the second guessing and guilt that comes from putting a pet down. When the emotions cool a bit, I hope you realize and are at peace knowing that you did what was kind for him, and you did the right thing!! I cracked up at him hating your affection and liking grapes!!! Cherish the memories, and take care of each other in that snow!!! Hugs to you both.
Losing a pet is absolutely devastating. I’m so sorry. I hope you find some comfort soon.
Oh I’m so very sorry about Eddie. My first dog ever is about to turn two and I already dread that moment. At least there are so many happy memories to reflect back on.
He hated you guys kissing and hugging?! LOL! I hope he was ticked off a lot-lol. Humping the person with a blanket on their back killed me. Oh you guys, this is so hard. Reminds me of the book Marley and Me (great book BTW) and how after they finally had to put him down, there were reminders of him around for so long, like finding fluffs of his hair in shoes they hadn’t worn in a while. :'( Just like when a person dies, it takes time to really remember that he’s gone, doesn’t it? It’s gonna take some time, he sounds like he was really a part of the family, like any good dog would be. 🙂
Biz I’m not jealous of your snow at all! Don’t give yourself a heart attack shoveling the drive!
I’ve actually never seen Marley and Me before!
Awesome pork stew! And the snow is crazy over here too!!
My heart goes out to you and Tony. I hope each day is a little better than the previous.
Wow, that is some serious snow. I would be so frustrated if my commute home took that long, especially if the next day was a work day. Enjoy a cozy weekend at home.
Geez…..3 days in a row you have made me cry again!!! I liked what Skippymom and Robin said, those were some good words.
I felt the same way about our Hyko, wondering if we should have waited or not, One Dec 5th, we took him for one last walk, he loved going for rides, so the ride to the vet was not tramatic. They gave him the first shot to calm him then took him in the other room and gave him the second shot……I heard Hyko squeek (that broke my heart, cause I knew He didn’t want to go….he was such a fighter) Hyko had a bad heart, a tumor in his bladder and bad teeth and cataracs. Everything the vet said would kill him, didn’t. But it was that shot that put him to sleep that did it. I think he fought to the very end not to die.
So I wonder if we did the right thing too, this is all still fresh in my mind cause it’s just 2 months since he died. I guess we all have the same feelings about things we love.
I am glad we still have our Dog Kylie, it would sure be lonely around here without her.
Food looks great, you guys try and have a good week-end.
I forgot to add…..that sure was a long commut home Biz…almost 3 hours??? Yikes sure glad we don’t live in the big city…..have to love the small towns of Wisconsin 🙂
Thanks for your kind words Louise! Sorry for the loss of Hyko. 🙁
Unfortunately our dogs cannot say, ‘I am ready’. You did what was best for Ed. Pets are part of the family and our daily lives so give yourselves time to adjust and just ‘be’ as your new family.
Biz and Tony, Soooo sorry to hear about your beloved Ed. We had to put one of our cats down last year and it was heart wrenching. Still is. Just remember all the good times and it will help. They are part of the family and always have a special place in your hearts. Just relax and enjoy the memories.
This made me cry all over again. I had to put 2 dogs down within 6 months. I’m so thankful we had gotten a puppy 3 week before we put the first one down. He’s been a lifesaver for me. He is the same breed as Harley( my 12.5yr old) and he reminds me so much of him. Someone told me that when one dog passes, their souls merge into the body of another pet. I do think that is true. Pamper yourselves this weekend. You both deserve it.
Thanks Randi!