I was trying to think last night when the last time Tony and I went out and saw any of his friends. It was the couple I was meeting on Friday nights sons wedding, which was July 14.
The grooms Dad (second to left) is Tony oldest friend. They have known each other since high school, watched their kids grow up and get married. Tony was the best man in their wedding some 30+ years ago.
Wasn’t my husband a hottie? Wish I knew him back then, but um, it would have been creepy – I think Tony was 22 or 23 in this picture, so I would have been 15 or 16! So I met up with Mike and Cindy at a relatively new BBQ place that is pretty much half way between where both of us live. Guys. . . I don’t know if you know this about me, but I loves me some BBQ – and pork rules! So I was really looking forward to the food. I did so good on my first week of training for my Spartan Race, and as I was driving to meet them I said to myself “concentrate on the people you are with, not the food!”
Well, I didn’t have to worry about overeating, because the food wasn’t really that good. The pork was dry, the chicken was just okay, and holy cow, HALF a plate of sweet potato fries?
Mike ordered the ribs, which were pretty good, but not fall off the bone tender the way I like them. And Cindy’s brisket was pretty flat.
Invariably the conversation steered toward Tony not being with us. Not gonna lie, we shed some tears at the table. Mike had one of Tony’s silly faces as his phone background from this collage from September 7 – a mere 3 months before he died – he looks so happy!
But we talked about good memories of him, and they even said that their kids told their parents that they appreciated the support Tony gave to them through Facebook – teasing them a lot, because that’s how he shows that he cares about you. We sat for hours talking and it was. . . nice. Weird not to have Tony there, but I know we’ll make it a habit of getting together often. Thanks for paying for dinner too!
Saturday was my long cardio day – I had to “do” something for 90 minutes – okay, that’s a lie – one of the training programs I am following said “today is an endurance day – try swimming or biking for 60 minutes, then going on a 2 hour hike.” No fucking way. So I bartered and cut that endurance in half, which was plenty. I have to say it was a bit intimidating to know I had 90 minutes of walking ahead of me, but I put a positive spin on it and said to myself “you get to listen to music for 90 uninterrupted minutes!” It was 41 degrees and the sun was shining, and I was actually a bit overdressed – totally could have gone without the winter coat for sure.
Shelley, I still love the ponytail hat you made for me! I have to say, I truly enjoyed this walk. One of the benefits of living in the “sticks” is that there isn’t a lot of traffic, which is nice. I just walked around my neighborhood 45 minutes in one direction, then just turned around.
Saturday night I had plans for one of Tony’s friends wife Maripat’s 50th birthday. I have to tell you though, when I got to the bar that the party was at and saw that it was on a reserved part of the bar on the second floor, I knew if Tony were with me he’d think “no fucking way I am going to go up all those stairs!” It was a really nice time – again, surreal that Tony wasn’t there with me. I met and talked to Maripat’s high school friend Lisa for a while, she was super nice. Tom and Maripat are the ones that chopped down that gigantic tree that fell in our back yard while we were at Mayo last summer. And I met some people that Tony and I knew from a few years ago that said they heard about Tony and how sad it was that he died so young. Maripat and Tom gave me some pictures from a boat trip we took on their boat in September of 2000 – I love how my step-son Joe is pretending to drink a Corona while Hannah looks on – they are so young! Hannah would have been 8 and Joe was about to turn 11.
So before I left for the party, um – maybe Hannah was taking a nap, so I had to download an app to take a picture of myself to see if my outfit was okay and put it on Instagram. Luckily I got several likes in the first minute, so I was fine leaving the house!
It was a fun night, and I love how this picture turned out – someone was taking a picture with a flash and I like how it highlights Maripat’s face!
Yesterday I met up with my Mom for lunch with Hannah and Jacob before hitting up a thrift store. These are my new glasses – so comfy that I wore them all day yesterday! Why is it that the grey hairs always pop out??!!
Yesterday was my cheat meal day, and I ended up getting a smoked sausage and sauerkraut panini. I posted on Instagram that we were at a place called The Onion Pub and several of you laughed at the irony of that considering my distaste for onions, but their food is so good. This picture doesn’t do this sammie any justice, I did only end up eating half though and only 1/4 of the fries.
It was a yellow tag sale at the thrift store – any yellow tag priced at $9.19 or less was .99 cents and anything marked over $9.19 with a yellow tag was 50% off – I ended up getting all these items for .99 cents!
Notice the Calvin Klein and Ann Taylor Loft pants both still had tags on them and those Rocket Dog shoes normally go for $40 – so comfy! And the Nike workout pants fit perfectly.
So it was a busy weekend, but I am glad I got myself out there. It’s so easy just to shut the world out and not want to get out of bed every day, but I know I need to. Becoming a hermit isn’t going to bring Tony back. I met my SIL Jody at the thrift store so it was nice to see her again – I hadn’t seen her since Christmas Day! Thanks for meeting us out Jody!
Alright, time to get this show on the road. I didn’t pack my food or gym bag yet, and I still have to jump in the shower. Make it a great day!
You know-he was a hottie! And you are, too! It is hard going out without your other even if it is with friends. My hubby used to be gone several months at a time and our friends were kind enough to always ask me along. I did get used to it, but it is so not easy! You are doing great!
Yay for socializing, but boo to mediocre BBQ–that’s so disappointing. Apparently, though, my favorite NY-based BBQ place is opening a location in Chicago so you should put that on your places to visit! http://www.dinosaurbarbque.com/bbq-chicago 😀
Oh man I LOOOOOVE that you posted your outfit on insta before you left. That is so clever, so cute and so funny!!! You’re awesome:)
Again, good for you going out! You had a great weekend, loved reading the stories and see the pictures.
Great deals on the clothes!
I always thought 1,5 hour of walking was long but now I’m doing regularly walks between 1 and 1,5 hour I love it. I never listen to music because I need to keep an eye on Bella.
So many wonderful memories of your wonderful Tony! I was tearing… and have to say, giant wooo hoooo on those thrift finds!!!!
Woah, I see a lot of Joe in that photo of Tony at his friend’s wedding. And what great thifting scores! I’ve been able to find several new shirts lately, but I am totally striking out on pants. I don’t want to pay 40 bucks for a pair of slacks, so I’m holding out hope!
I go thrifting so often, so I usually have good luck over time – it is hit or miss though – one time I’ll find 5 pants that fit (I am short, so it’s hard to find pants that aren’t dragging on the ground) and other times I’ll walk out empty handed.
Hey Biz,
So freaky! I just found that pic of me and my brothers on my phone and put it on fb! You looked fabulous and I’m glad you liked the pics. (I stole your pic of the surfboard cuz we forgot to take one!) Thanks for coming and we will see you soon. Sorry your bbq wasn’t the greatest. Food is a little spotty there. xoxo Luv ya! mp
It was a great time Maripat – thank you so much for inviting me! 😀 Luv ya back!
Girl – You have such a great attitude!
“concentrate on the people you are with, not the food!” <–Love this. I practices this one night when I was doing the "not a detox" and we tried out the hottest restaurant in the Twin Cities.
“you get to listen to music for 90 uninterrupted minutes!” < — A great way to look at it!
When the weather is nice in spring, summer, and/or fall, I love random long walks.
P.S. That is crazy about the Indian Food comment you posted on my blog!
Ha – you know I love your bullet point comments Carrie! And yes, that was a gross story, wasn’t it?!
Fun times…..the collage pic of hubs are great!!
Thanks Kathy! He used to tease me about how many times I took his picture – now I am so glad I did take so many!
What thrift stores do you go to? I live in southern WI but we travel to Chicago occasionally. I’d love to check out some of your favorite stores. You get such great deals!
Hey Candy! Here is the yelp link – don’t read the reviews though. Granted, it’s a bit disheveled at times, and you have to literally move every hanger to see what’s there, it’s totally worth it to me! Seems like Sunday’s are the yellow tag .99 cent deal:
http://www.yelp.com/biz/community-thrift-store-east-dundee
You did have a busy weekend!!! Glad that you are doing fun things and still being able to share memories of Tony with others.
You looked awesome for that party!! What app is it that lets you take your own picture like that?
It’s called “CamMe” – you give the camera a hand signal to start the timer so you can take hands free selfies – love it, and it’s free! 😀
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVyOrmQz69Q
Check it out here! 😀
I am really glad to see you getting out and not being a hermit.
I love thrift scores, too!
You look so good in that hat! Very happy to see that it’s working so well for you. 🙂
Nice score on the still-tagged pants! Looks like a good weekend – I bet Tony’s friends are happy to get to share memories with you, bittersweet though it may be.
You know, usually whatever weather you get, we get a couple days later. Not only did we NOT get that lovely 40 degree weather, it is, OF COURSE, snowing here again and the weather guys are saying we are going to have below zero temperatures by the end of the week. It’s like opposite world and you’re living in CT and I’m living in Chicago LOL!
Glad you had such a nice, busy weekend. I think that’s good for you.
You are correct Helen – total oppositeville!
Sounds like you had a great weekend. It is nice sharing the memories with others who knew Tony. To me it feels like loved ones (Tony) are there with you when you share the memories. Great deals at the thrift stores. The glasses look amazing on you! I love the outfit you went out in. I really like scarves but haven’t quite figured out how to wear them. I have watched videos, looked at step by step photos but with no luck. I am scarf challenged.
I have my daughter to thank in helping me with them!
Good for you for getting out there and being with people even though it brings some sadness. I wish you well today – Lynne.
So glad you where surrounded by friends this weekend! I love loooooong hikes outside – good for the soul, I think!
Wow, you really were a social butterfly this weekend! Glad you got to re-connect with people you love and spin stories about Tony, even if there was a little sadness.
You look fabulous! Thank you for sharing your life in such an open and honest way. Make it a great day!
Thanks Kimberly, I appreciate it! 😀