And I’ve already cried today. You see every year for my birthday Tony would leave me flowers on the kitchen counter to see before I went to work. I never knew or saw where he hid them either the night before. I would wake up, and there they would be.
So this is my year of “firsts.” And this is my first birthday without Tony. As I was going to bed last night I thought to myself “this is the first time I won’t wake up to flowers” and that made me cry. Not about the flowers, but just the gesture that no matter how he was feeling, he would have flowers for me.
So this morning I got up and what did I see? Flowers!
Hannah and Jacob had to be at work before me this morning, so they left me flowers and a card, and it made me cry right then and there. I cried for the thoughtful gesture, I cried because Tony wasn’t here to give them to me. I just . . . cried.
So I got myself together, and I couldn’t remember what I we did last year for my birthday, so I went back and looked. And fuck. I cried again. I had forgotten that Tony did a guest post for my birthday last year. This is the part that got me:
It has been what seems like forever. I can’t seem to remember a time when I wasn’t with her. I have had countless surgeries and for me, the most important thing I need is to see that face. Once I see that I know everything is going to be fine.
I love Biz more that my huge clumsy fingers could ever write. I am truly blessed to have her in my life.
Today is her Birthday; please help me honor the best person I have ever known.
I love you Lizabeth May Alcott Difasio Digorno Velatini, I will love you till the end of time.
Who would have known that my 46th birthday would have been my last with him. We went out for pizza and I remember him not feeling too well and we were home by 7:30. I do know that I was feeling a bit sorry for myself because we got home so early, but I’d spend every birthday at home just to have him back.
Alright, I have to jump in the shower and stop and get my cappuccino from Hannah’s work on the way in. I will have a great birthday. The kids and I are going out to eat tonight, so that should be fun – at a place that has lots of good beer on tap! If you are lucky enough to have your spouse or significant other with you today – give them an extra hug from me today, okay?
Happy Birthday <3
Happy Birthday, Biz. Lots of love. <3
Have as happy a birthday as possible, B. 🙂
Happy birthday sweety!
The first year with firsts of everything sucks big time.
But it made me smile that your beautiful Hannah and her Jacob remembered what Tony did for you and continued the tradition.
Have a great day (and it’s okay to cry if you want too, it’s your party and you can cry if you want too).
Awww, so sweet. Happy Birthday!
AW! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIZ!!!!! LOVE YOU FOREVER MY MIDWEST MOMMA!!!!
Happy birthday Biz. I’ll be thinking of you today, and thank you for the reminder to appreciate the people I love, because time with them is precious and fleeting. Hugs from Washington.
I would cry too, both last night and again this morning. I’m glad the ‘kids’ left such a beautiful bouquet for you to enjoy. Happy Birthday! Continue to focus on good memories. You are loved.
Yuck to a year of firsts. But I have to say, you’ve raised such a thoughtful daughter and I’m really impressed by the flowers she (and Jacob) left for you. I hope you have a great birthday and make some new happy memories to add to the ones that you look back on so fondly.
Oh Biz – Happy Birthday to you! You’ve raised a wonderful kid and it sounds like she’s found a young man with the same great qualities! Enjoy your day and your dinner out as well. You have every right to feel sad without Tony today – try to soak up some extra love from everyone around you! Peace.
Happy Birthday!!!
PS the comment above mine has me ROLLING! LOL! Happy Birthday to your twin as well!!! 😛
……and I am at work crying! uff da, so hard. So glad you have Hannah and Jacob and the puppies. (((((BIG HUGS))))) from me to you. HaPpY BiRtHdAy!!!!!
Happy birthday
So thoughtful! Have a wonderful day!
Will do, Biz! Thank you for reminding me to appreciate my beau every single day. None of us will ever know what could happen today, tomorrow, the next day…
Thinking of you lots. I hope you have a wonderful birthday. You are so lucky to have those kids in your life! They love you dearly.
Happy Birthday Biz! This post made cry. Those flowers are gorgeous! You raised a good one!
How did you know that my husband was kind of a jerk last night and I’m nursing a little grudge? He has you to thank for his “get out of jail free” card today. Happy birthday, Beth. xoxo
Biz, I hope that you have the best day ever! Happy birthday! Hugs!
Oh, these “firsts” are always so hard. But I hope and pray that you are able to cry it out and have a wonderful day. Birthdays deserve to be celebrated!