During the time when Tony’s family was here after he passed away, I received a box of cheese from Cabot.  The tomato basil was a big hit, but I put the habanero one in my lunch meat drawer because I knew that it was going to be all mine.  When I was cleaning out the fridge over the weekend, I found it and knew it was going to be part of my breakfast.  I still had leftover beef tenderloin so I made open face breakfast sammies on a whole grain English muffin – typically habanero is even too spicy for me (I know!) but this cheese is amazeballs.  I actually used some broccoli slaw with my eggs and loved the added crunch to the sammie.

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I was so busy entering my bosses time for the month I was literally at my desk for hours and by the time I left for the gym at lunch, I’d only walked 700 steps!  I did my leg workout and ended up walking 2.25 miles – not bad!  Interestingly, there was only me and one other person at the gym at 12:30 in the afternoon.  Yep, my shirt says “Born to Be Wild!”

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I ended up making a stir fry out of our leftovers from our lettuce wraps the night before last.  I cooked up a whole carrot and zucchini, and added 3/4 cup of brown rice and it turned out really delicious.

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Around 3:30 I looked at my Fitbit and I was still only at around 7000 steps, so I told Hannah I was going back to the gym after work to get my steps in.  Wow, the place was packed at 5:10!   I ended up walking on a 5% incline for just under 50 minutes for a 5k.

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I got home by 6:30 and Hannah helped me get dinner ready.  Super easy – copycat Chipotle burrito bowls.  I just took a chicken breast and tossed it in a bit of olive oil, then rubbed on some taco seasoning mix and cooked that up while Hannah chopped up the veggies.

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Um, turns out Rummy likes to know if you are really done with your plate or not – and if, ya know, you had any leftovers, she’s be happy to take them!

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After dinner I realized I had never gotten the mail and outside my front door was another package for me.  When I opened it up, I saw that it was from my friend Karli and her Mom Kandy.  The card was so nice.   It said:  “Hope – It’s just one little word, but sometimes it means everything.  Wishing you brighter, better days ahead.”   She said that she and her Mom and all my friends at “beef” are all thinking of me during this time and to stay strong and savor all the happy memories.  Just.so.sweet.

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So with my second after work workout, I ended up with over 15,000 steps for the day!

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I think I’ll continue to do that a few times a week just to get some extra steps in – it’s not like I have to rush home to make Tony dinner.   We still had dinner at like 7:15 which isn’t too late at all.

So this New Years Eve is going to be a tad bit different.   Last year I worked my day job, got out early, but it wasn’t early enough to come home before heading out to the restaurant – I ended up going to the gym in between and did a 5k and ended up not getting home until 2:30 in the morning – up nearly 20 hours!  I sent this picture to Tony a few minutes before midnight last year.


And when I got home Tony wasn’t feeling well, but he made me go to bed, but we ended up getting up early on New Years Day to go to the emergency room, and he ended up being in the hospital the first 8 days of 2014.  I look back now and wonder if that was the time that he started getting really sick, and I just never saw it as that – just another medical hiccup and we’d move on.  I can’t look back and think what if, should I have done anything different.  All I can say for sure is that Tony is still the love of my life, I miss him so much each day, but I just have to somehow embrace the future without him. 

So tonight?  We’ll be having a 3 year old spend the night.  Hannah’s best friend has a 3 year old and she and Jacob promised to watch him tonight, so he’ll be coming over later on today.  I think I need to go on Pinterest to get some crafty ideas – I know there is a way to make homemade play-doh – any other suggestions for a 3 year old boy other than watching movies??

Happy New Year to each and every one of you – my life is richer having you in it, and I am so thankful that so many of you have reached out to me to help me keep my head above water – I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know!  Hugs and Love!