So I picked up Hannah and we went to her friends wake. Now I’ve been to wakes and funerals where it is Great Uncle Bob who died in his sleep at the age of 98. The mourners gather around and tell jokes about how he liked to fish and that he always had his trusty pocket knife in his pocket at all times. Then toast him with a glass of wine.
But going to a teenagers wake is all different. You don’t celebrate the life that someone has lived, but you mourn the life they have lost.
So Hannah and I knew the girl and her Dad more than her mom, as we coached softball together (I was the scorekeeper). I always saw the mom at the games, gave a little wave. So when we arrive, we walk into a vestibule of crying teenagers. Some more than others. You can tell the kids that really knew her, and the ones that were hangers on. In any event, the second I walk into a room of people crying, all bets are off. I cry at Hallmark commercials for Christ’s sake!
So we sign the book, and make our way towards the family and the casket at the front of the church. My first thought when I walked in was “its open casket.” I knew right then and there I was going to cry. And I haven’t even seen this girl for a couple years, and she only played softball with Hannah for a couple years!
So we start getting close to the parents. As soon as I see the Mom, I realize that she doesn’t recognize either me or Hannah, but does a kind of “thanks for coming.” But as soon as the Dad sees Hannah he says “Hannah, as one of her teammates, I would appreciate it if you could come to her funeral tomorrow, I know it would mean so much her.” And then he starts to cry, then Hannah starts to cry, then I start to cry!
It wasn’t until we were driving home that Hannah and I both realized that the mom and sister didn’t cry at all – just the Dad. Who knows. Everyone handles sorrow in different ways. I just wondered if the girl who died knew that she had so many friends? Maybe then she wouldn’t have thought that dying was her only option out? It’s high school, its like playing operater as the rumors start to fly, so I don’t think anyone will really know the reason.
So I am not in the mood for food posts – you’ll see my pizza posts tomorrow.
All I know is that I gave my daughter the biggest hug tonight!!
Sleep tight, I’ll see you tomorrow!